15 and dating?

I have custody over a 15 yr old girl (no she isnt mine lol, i just take care of her)

She has newly informed me that she now has a boyfriend....

I think it is ridiculous that she is dating at 15, especially when i read the msn archive and see things like 'im so happy i have you, you are the only one who understands me' and she always puts hearts around his name-ypical puppy love. However, i don't think she should be dating at 15

whats everyone else's opinion on this matter please???

I have two grown daughters and I think what's going on with her is very age-appropriate. I would be concerned if she were wanting to go out on dates without others, and things of that nature. However, what you explained seems pretty par for the course and age.

kd

Sounds pretty normal if you ask me. I think my first "boyfriend" was much earlier. And it is very common to be doodling with hearts and things like them with someone they are into.

sounds pretty normal but that isn't dating...dating to me is a guy picking up a girl and going out somewhere. is she doing that?

yeah she goes over to his house and i don't know if the mother is there, but she lies to me where exactly she is going, until she calls me from there.
I don't know what they've done together, she tells me just kiss but who knows.
They hang out at school and stuff too. <font color="pink"> </font>

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating at 15. And her lovey-doveyness is normal. But if she's lying to you, you have reason to be concerned. I have a niece who's 15 or 16 and in all kind of trouble. She's madly in love with her boyfriend, but I don't know anything about him. If you don't already, keep an eye on her Internet activity. I saw my niece's site on Xanga, and some of the stuff she posted there was very telling. She has signs of depression. Also check MySpace and other sites. There's no guarantee you'd find it if she didn't show you (because so many use nicknames, you might have difficulty finding any sites she has), but sometimes you do find them. I saw some of my niece's friends' sites, and the stuff they post tells me that either their parents don't monitor their online activities, or they don't care. You'd be surprised what kids will post. And it's a good idea to not allow them to post their school or any personal info that can help a person find them.

Yep, I agree the lying is an issue...you lie to hide something.

Otherwise, it sounds pretty normal to me.

Be safe,

KD

Sounds pretty typical for a 15-year old. That business of going over to his house when his mother isn't home, though, does not sound good at all. (I've been a 15-year old boy.)

YES, while being 15 years old is about the the time boys & girls start to want to date I would have to warn about letting her go over to his house while no parental supervision is available..... being a mother myself at the young tender age of 17 and being a young girl who was looking for someone to LOVE her (due to inner wounds) I can honestly say that the situation she is placing her self in could lead to unwanted trouble.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ and ~ Best of LUCK.......

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

P.S.

BTW - I have to boys and the RULE in our house has always been no girlfriend allowed until they are 16 years old and then dating is to be done in groups only and visiting each other only permitted with parental supervision.... so far it has worked out GREAT for we placed this notion into our boys mind when they were very young (5 yrs old) - hence it became a way of truth for them over the years.

My (boys) MEN are now 16 & 21 and they have respect for the oppisite sex.... females are more than an object to be sexually desired to them.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - (one PROUD mom)

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I think it is ridiculous that she is dating at 15

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That statement, if said to her, is the fastest way to assure that she WILL continue dating her boyfriend.

She doesn't think she's "only" 15. She thinks she's an adult. Reminding her that she's not will almost certainly spark a rebellion.

I believe that when kids are ready, we need to pay attention to that and work WITH them so that they go about doing the things that they are ready for responsibly. That doesn't mean advocating sex or anything like that, but my advice (as a former stepmom of a teenager, and being a former teenage rebel myself) is to admit, to the teenager, that you're going to need some time to adjust to their new sense of maturity and that you want to work together to make sure she stays safe. If you push her away with too many restrictions, then she's not going to feel that she can trust and confide in you, and THAT is when she'll get herself into trouble.

I wish you the best of luck. You sound like a really caring mom-figure in her life. She's lucky to have you