[Anonymous32445]

I am trying to find out EXACTLY how I am feeling; I was diagnosed with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) at an early age, I don't really know much about it in all honesty.

I want to make a change in life and start to achieve things, whether it be going to the gym, learning how to cook, being knowledgeable, having a good social circle, the most important component is to have a whole range of hobbies that I can engage within. I'd like to be more confident, be able to be more open and have more females in my life. If I was to step outside of my comfort zone, I'd most likely have to describe myself as somebody who is shy and needs to improve their social skills.

Personally, I feel that trying to find out how you're feeling is a complicated and difficult process because my life seems to repeat itself everyday.
For example, I have an idea what I will be doing tommorow and I will know what to expect. I do not step put of my comfort zone ever, I am not sure if this would be a major contribution to my current situation.

I don't feel any negative or positive feelings much, I tend to just ignore something which would be considered as "weird" or "abnormal" and just go with the flow. I follow an attitude where I feel that there's no point bothering; it isn't significant and it doesn't define me as an individual, does it? Maybe that could be due to the fact that my siblings don't care about these acts and that deep down I realise that I will never feel negative, regardless if I do something stupid at home.

I don't feel angry, depressed, or resentful about anything at all. If I was to step outside of my comfort zone, would it be possible and realistic if any true feelings began to surface? I would say I have a problem with procrastion to some extent, as well as perfectionism. I would say that they are severe, but to a level where these issues need to be addressed so that I will be able to move forward in life.

I do not want to blow anything out of proportion, I realise I need to change my attitude and behaviour but I never decide to act on any of these issues. It can be hard to describe how I am feeling, as though I cannot describe it. Therefore, I come to a conclusion that nobody would be able to relate to how I am feeling.

I don't know who I can turn to, I realise that there are services such as life coaching or counselling. I enquired about life coaching but I was informed that sessions would be £40 per session and I cannnot afford that kind of money. Additionally, there is a high chance that this is also the case with counselling services. But guess what? I've literally contradicted myself because I've spent nearly £200 on absolute rubbish that I don't even need.

Nobody understands me to a personal level and they don't know what I truly believe. Individuals assume they know me really well and that I am a good friend but I have to disagree, I would try and explain to them how I feel but when it comes to issues such as this I cannot describe such complex processes on the spot; I would have to do it online. I've tried to get advice from people online but I've only just had the same responses.

I would like to try and describe this situation which accurately reflects my current situation. I really want to be open and speak to somebody about my needs, but this raises the question as to whether who is the best person who I can speak to to. I would like get to know someone who is open, honest and a good listener.

I don't know if I am overcomplicating life, this is the problem; I wish things would be simple to understand but everything seems so complex which leads me to believe that things are difficult to explain to the point where you cannot describe something.

If I was to achieve everything I wanted, I feel that it would take months if not years to get everything I want; it's like I have to climb Mount Everest on my own. I would LOVE to be out of this situation forever; I recently found an extract on the internet which is similar to what I believe:

"I can't be myself and so I have to pretend to be something I'm not. e.g. I'm always trying to better myself. I want to be the best conversationalist essentially. I want to know about everything. I hate being caught out in a conversation. And the worse part is that I don't know anything. I'm not quick witted. I'm not intelligent or I can't think on my feet."

I cannot do maths, I got the worst grades possible at school and I am possible one of the most uneducated people on this planet. I often feel that I don't know anything about anything whatsoever. I always come across know a lot about a wide range of subjects such as History, Politics, Economics, Geography, Biology, Chemistry, Physics etc.

Again, I must assure that I don't feel depressed and I want to change for the better. I don't have any hobbies, this will raise the solution "Just go out and do something about it" Why on earth do people expect this whole process to be that simple? They'll come up with shoddy advice and I just ignore it, they like to think they know you.

This is just half of the story, I don't know who to turn to and who to open myself up to. As far as I can remember I've never been encouraged by my parents and I suspect their methods of parenting might have brought on a number of side affects. Nobody in my family knows about it, I don't want to tell them because I don't feel they will take me seriously. I don't want to explain this to them. I doubt that they will never understand me, they don't know me.

[perseverance11]

Originally Posted by Dark_Soldier.750

I am trying to find out EXACTLY how I am feeling; I was diagnosed with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) at an early age, I don't really know much about it in all honesty.

I want to make a change in life and start to achieve things, whether it be going to the gym, learning how to cook, being knowledgeable, having a good social circle, the most important component is to have a whole range of hobbies that I can engage within. I'd like to be more confident, be able to be more open and have more females in my life. If I was to step outside of my comfort zone, I'd most likely have to describe myself as somebody who is shy and needs to improve their social skills.

Personally, I feel that trying to find out how you're feeling is a complicated and difficult process because my life seems to repeat itself everyday.
For example, I have an idea what I will be doing tommorow and I will know what to expect. I do not step put of my comfort zone ever, I am not sure if this would be a major contribution to my current situation.

I don't feel any negative or positive feelings much, I tend to just ignore something which would be considered as "weird" or "abnormal" and just go with the flow. I follow an attitude where I feel that there's no point bothering; it isn't significant and it doesn't define me as an individual, does it? Maybe that could be due to the fact that my siblings don't care about these acts and that deep down I realise that I will never feel negative, regardless if I do something stupid at home.

I don't feel angry, depressed, or resentful about anything at all. If I was to step outside of my comfort zone, would it be possible and realistic if any true feelings began to surface? I would say I have a problem with procrastion to some extent, as well as perfectionism. I would say that they are severe, but to a level where these issues need to be addressed so that I will be able to move forward in life.

I do not want to blow anything out of proportion, I realise I need to change my attitude and behaviour but I never decide to act on any of these issues. It can be hard to describe how I am feeling, as though I cannot describe it. Therefore, I come to a conclusion that nobody would be able to relate to how I am feeling.

I don't know who I can turn to, I realise that there are services such as life coaching or counselling. I enquired about life coaching but I was informed that sessions would be £40 per session and I cannnot afford that kind of money. Additionally, there is a high chance that this is also the case with counselling services. But guess what? I've literally contradicted myself because I've spent nearly £200 on absolute rubbish that I don't even need.

Nobody understands me to a personal level and they don't know what I truly believe. Individuals assume they know me really well and that I am a good friend but I have to disagree, I would try and explain to them how I feel but when it comes to issues such as this I cannot describe such complex processes on the spot; I would have to do it online. I've tried to get advice from people online but I've only just had the same responses.

I would like to try and describe this situation which accurately reflects my current situation. I really want to be open and speak to somebody about my needs, but this raises the question as to whether who is the best person who I can speak to to. I would like get to know someone who is open, honest and a good listener.

I don't know if I am overcomplicating life, this is the problem; I wish things would be simple to understand but everything seems so complex which leads me to believe that things are difficult to explain to the point where you cannot describe something.

If I was to achieve everything I wanted, I feel that it would take months if not years to get everything I want; it's like I have to climb Mount Everest on my own. I would LOVE to be out of this situation forever; I recently found an extract on the internet which is similar to what I believe:

"I can't be myself and so I have to pretend to be something I'm not. e.g. I'm always trying to better myself. I want to be the best conversationalist essentially. I want to know about everything. I hate being caught out in a conversation. And the worse part is that I don't know anything. I'm not quick witted. I'm not intelligent or I can't think on my feet."

I cannot do maths, I got the worst grades possible at school and I am possible one of the most uneducated people on this planet. I often feel that I don't know anything about anything whatsoever. I always come across know a lot about a wide range of subjects such as History, Politics, Economics, Geography, Biology, Chemistry, Physics etc.

Again, I must assure that I don't feel depressed and I want to change for the better. I don't have any hobbies, this will raise the solution "Just go out and do something about it" Why on earth do people expect this whole process to be that simple? They'll come up with shoddy advice and I just ignore it, they like to think they know you.

This is just half of the story, I don't know who to turn to and who to open myself up to. As far as I can remember I've never been encouraged by my parents and I suspect their methods of parenting might have brought on a number of side affects. Nobody in my family knows about it, I don't want to tell them because I don't feel they will take me seriously. I don't want to explain this to them. I doubt that they will never understand me, they don't know me.

Hello Dark_Soldier.750,

Fisrtly, you are right when you say that it is sometimes difficult to know how we are feeling. When you say that your life is being repetitive everyday, what do you mean exactly? If you step outside of your comfort zone, it is normal that you will have more feelings. If you want to talk with me more personnally, I am open to this. I think you have a potential like everyone else. You have something you are good at. I am sorry to hear that your parents didn't encourage you, it should have been though.

I wish you the best!