does my friend really need help?. or is she just trying to ignore me

so... over the past few months now, 1 of my friends who i've known for sometimes has been acting really strange.

when i ask her if she's going to come online and talk to me, she says yeah she will- and then about an hour before she's due to show up, she writes me on fb saying oh.. i'm really depressed, feeling icky, i can't come online today.

sometimes she won't even respond to me, even to say she's ill- but sometimes, she's here early- full of energy and then leaves an hour earlier than planned

lately for the past few weeks i've not really heard from her- just to say she's depressed and sick. i've talked to her about maybe seeing someone about it- but she insists that she does not need to and that she's perfictly fine.

i saw her yesterday online, talking to someone else and when i messaged her she told me the usual... i've been depressed etc etc.

do you think she really needs help?. or do you think she's just doing this to try and not talk to me- i wouldn't have posted this before, but since now i've seen her online with others i'm not sure

The test of time may give you the answer. Don’t contact here for awhile and if she is depressed and just needed some time to herself she’ll contact you and if she doesn’t it may be time to let this one go.

As we're not her we can obviously only give you guess work. Maybe she really is depressed and when she feels better and more able to talk to folk you just aren't online. When ive been depressed before ive either stayed up really late or gone to bed really early so maybe she's doing the same thing and perhaps thats what accounts for her being online earlier than normal. I would just drop her a line saying you understand how its difficult sometimes to tell someone you don't wish to remain friends with them but that you would appreciate her telling you if anything was wrong. Put it in a way which conveys as much understanding and maturity as possible and hopefully she'll respond accordingly. She may just want a break from your friendship temporarily - when people get depressed they worry and fret over burdening their friends and so back off a bit. The bottom line is you won't really know until you ask her. And if she isn't forthcoming i would just say that you will be there to support her if she needs it (if this is what you want to do) and from there just get on with your own life as best you can. As for her getting help - you can't convince her to go to a doctor. People have to want to get better for themselves. I hope ive been helpful. All the best.

not sure on your friend ... as bb said we can't know for her. i do know for me with depression it often works just that way; and that i can be ok talking to some people but others can be harder and often it's those who i really want to catch up with that are the hardest to because i feel too guilty about not being around more so i avoid them and then feel guiltier and more depressed .......... could be a lot going on

Hello shattered sanity,

I can't know for her, but as I know, when you are depressed, you feel depressed all the time I think so maybe she doesn't want to talk to you for now, but maybe she will later.

I hope that you will be able to talk again with her soon.