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I need to know if I am mental or are the people around me making me? I am married to a man that is 20 yrs older than me and he has 5 children of one that is living in our house. All we do is fight since she moved in to this house. She is 45 yr and has 2 degrees. I believe she is trying her best to be very nice to daddy and make me mental. We are on a fixed income and cannot afford to have this on our shoulders. I know she is his babby girl but when do you draw the line and say it is time to move out and go on your own? I sometimes feel as if I might have something wrong but not to the point of being put away. I am down to my last straw with all this fighting we have been doing and she does not even see this if she is she is loving it because some day I will leave and she will have daddy and the house to her. I need to know if I am sick or is this something she is doing? How do you tell the man you love deeply that his daughter is doing this to us!! and him!!

What are you actually fighting about? Do you think maybe deep down you're just not happy about her being an imposition on you and your husbands life? You don't go into great detail about her behaviour but if we presume she is up to something - you can't make your husband see something he refuses to see - im sure your husband isn't stupid, i bet he knows when he's being manipulated and so he might just be in denial - after all he's baby girl has had to come home and he probably doesn't want to give her even more grief.

That being said, i don't think it would hurt for you to sit down with him and explain your fears and what you would like to be done about it. You can't ask him to make her leave - it just isn't going to happen. What i would do is encourage him to help her find her feet again. If she has two degrees surely she isn't having terrific difficulty getting a job? If you're a professional surely renting a property isn't totally out of the question? What about renting with someone? There are loads of options but your husband needs to take a more firm approach. Im sure he doesn't want to risk losing you so once you've voiced your concerns hopefully you'll both be on the same page and be able to deal with this situation more proactively.

Does your husband want her to stay with you both do you think? You haven't really stated his position on the whole thing - if he's happy to have her stay this personally would ring alarm bells for me. There should at least be some ground rules laid down to ensure that this co-habitation is as peaceful and respectful as can be. If he doesn't take the hint or he has already spoken to her and she's not making an effort to get on with you better, im not sure what other options are available to you - if you threaten to leave to the point where he throws her out he could end up resenting you. Maybe if you stayed elsewhere for a bit on the provision that once you come back she had better start being more respectful - perhaps this will put an end to the conflict.

Respect is of course a two way street, i know its probably difficult but just try and be as civil and respectful towards his daughter as you can. If she goads you into an argument, disengage straight away - leave you room if you have too. Hopefully then your husband might see a pattern developing with regards to her behaviour. The bottom line is you have nothing to do with each other - yes at the moment you are sharing a house but you don't have to let her get to you, we can't change other people we can only change how we respond to them. Perhaps simply not rising to it will make her tire of her little games and who knows - she might even start acting more her age.

Whatever happens please remember take care of yourself during this time - maybe some therapy to help you with your own issues will give you a better focus than the one you have now. If all else fails at least getting some external support will help you get through whatever may lie ahead. I hope ive been helpful and that this situation improves. Good luck.