[pngindreamr]

I have trouble with friends, family and boyfriend with being overly sensitive and defensive. I defend everyone and everything when it seems like there is even a mild criticism. I get defensive when I am accused of things I did not do, which makes me seem guilty to others when I am not. I just get anxious when people accuse others or with any kind of conflict .Anyone else have this? I do have GAD and Panic Disorder. If you do, are there ways you have gotten around this negative communication?

[Leed]

I think we ALL get defensive when we're accused of something we didn't do! I certainly do! And maybe sometimes I get TOO defensive, which as you say, makes me seem guilty, but I HATE being falsely accused!! And like you, I'll defend others who are falsely accused too -- I don't see anything wrong with that. I think any good friend or ally would do that.

I hate conflict/confrontation of any kind so it seems funny that I'd get defensive and/or defend others. If there's any kind of 'fight' going on, I'm the first to run! It comes from my childhood, when my parents would physically fight, and it terrifies me. So it sounds like I'm saying one thing but doing another. But I DO defend people, and I do get defensive if I'm falsely accused. Go figure.

I value justice, and therefore, I can be rather defensive too. Whether it's an accusation at me or another, I don't feel right not defending.

[everything]

I get this a lot. My old take was to react harshly.

My new take is not to let things go. If there is something I feel strongly about, I will try to react calmly and rationally and pick the arguments that work best in the situation. There should not be harm in making your views known and expressing yourself when it contradicts those around you. It's possible that the people around you disagree with you so much that it would be better to find other people to be around.

I have had the problem of strongly disagreeing with people for quite a long time and I can talk about it with you more if you'd like. My therapist and I spoke about it last week and it will probably come up again. I can share some insights.