I have recently been asked out on a date, but the main question I have is what will my family think?

I don't think my family sees me as a 'boyfriend' type of person, and I think that they would make fun of me or have something cynical to say. Particularly because I don't have a job or any friends. I have also never had a girlfriend before.

I'm 34 years old.

Does anybody else feel this way?

[Raindropvampire]

My brother is 26. He has never really had a friend let alone a girlfriend. Most of the people in our family assume he's gay. Three times people in our family have paid escorts to bump into him and try to get him to have sex. So personally through my brother I know how you feel. I have sat up with him and talked and been a shoulder to cry on because he hates how he is he just doesn't know how not to be scared of other people.

I'll tell you what I would tell him: F*** THEM!!. It's your life and your date and they can eat a sack of donkey d***s. If you want to go please go. Whether your family sees you as "boyfriend" material or not obviously this person does and that's all that matters.

[Leed]

If your family makes rude remarks, then they themselves are rude and cruel people. I think they SHOULD be supportive and happy for you.

I COULD say to ignore them, but I know that's hard to do. TRY to ignore them, but you're going to HAVE to stand up to them and tell them that they're being CRUEL and their remarks are unnecessary!! Then walk out of the room. Maybe they'll think about how ignorant they are.

People like that don't think about how their words can hurt others. And words DO hurt.

I hope you have a GREAT time on your date! Maybe this will turn out to be a lasting relationship! Best of luck and God bless! Hugs, Lee

I remember some of your previous posts, so can I just say how lovely it is to read you're to be considering going on a date, and am so chuffed for you!

As for your family, well, leave them to their thoughts. Perhaps if they tease you or say something mean, just blow them a kiss or something cheeky & lighthearted to show them the words dont effect you (even if they do) - if you don't react, then they may just stop teasing you about your love life.

You've got to lead your own life, and not worry what others think. I know it sounds hard, but it can be done. And imagine how sweet you'll feel if you prove them wrong too?! I know, I shouldn't think that way, but sometimes a bit of bloody mindedness is a good thing to have. I hope you do go on the date, have an ace time, and I hope too this lady is for you. Good luck and enjoy yourself!

You're a 34 year old man. If you're family don't approve then tell them to piss off. Your life, you do what makes you happy.

[unaluna]

you MATTER. that's what I keep trying to tell myself.

((((IT)))) that is wonderful! Try to not let your family's opinions get to you...I know it is hard but you can do this my brother is super secretive about his dating life...by his actions he has made it clear that it is not something he wishes to discuss. The bottom line is that we just want him to be happy. If we ask , too, he just gives brief one word answers or doesnt reply at all. It is just his way. As his sister, I want to know every detail, but he's not talkin'

If /when you would like support, to discuss topics, ask questions just know you have a lot of friends here that are rooting for you and are on your side

Have a great time!

[tigerlily84]

My family is the same way. They say cruel remarks all the time. Well, really just one person, and the rest of my family doesn't stand up to that person.

I really do hope that you go on that date, IT. You deserve to be happy.

[stieg]

I'm 36 and haven't been on a date for 6 years and my two brothers are married with kids and me being the only one of my brothers still unmarried and single is a singlephobia dilemma for my parents. Don't let your parents say if you're going on a date. Accept it and have fun and be polite to tour date. You don't have a problem your parents do have a problem! Go get 'em tiger!

Thank you all for your support.

I should probably clarify a little, it's not that my parents don't want me to date, but I don't think my family see me as boyfriend material and they would be bemused if someone was interested in me. At least this is the thought i am having.

At the moment i don't think i will date her, she's very outgoing, hardworking, etc. I don't think i could keep up with her.

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

At the moment i don't think i will date her, she's very outgoing, hardworking, etc. I don't think i could keep up with her.

A lot of great relationships have been between those who have opposite personality characteristics. Opposites certainly attract and bond very well! You may want to take that into consideration before you turn down the date. The date could be fantastic for you. I wish you the best!

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Thank you all for your support.

I should probably clarify a little, it's not that my parents don't want me to date, but I don't think my family see me as boyfriend material and they would be bemused if someone was interested in me. At least this is the thought i am having.

At the moment i don't think i will date her, she's very outgoing, hardworking, etc. I don't think i could keep up with her.

Hang on, If I'm not mistaken you're a 34 year old man who's never been on a date before, and you've been asked out and you're going to turn her down? Go on a date with her. Even if it turns out to be a disaster at least you can say you've been on a date and have some experience.