[Jenn1fer82]

Can we really stay friends with our ex?

He cheated on me, I went back to him, too many mind games with guilt and shame and he game up wanting to prove to me he'll change.

He left and wants to stay friends. I love him too much to only be friends, love him too much and still hurting.

Is it ever possible to stay friends?

[gimmeice]

Sometimes it is possible to stay friends it depends on many factors. If there was a lot of pain in the relationship it is harder to work it out but sometimes it can be accomplished with time, space and boundaries.

[Leed]

It would see that if you're still really in love with him, it would be too difficult. If he hurt you, cheated on you, and yet you're still in love with him, I'd make a clean break. A "friendship" would be much too painful. I've been here and everytime I saw my so-called ex bf/friend, it ripped my heart out. It's just not worth it.

Just my opinion, but make a clean break. In the end, you'll be glad you did. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Harley47]

Leed has it right, I think. Loving him as you do, in spite of everything, every time you see him is going to essentially be needlessly putting yourself in emotional pain. It's like walking a child (not to call you a child...just for analogy's sake!) past a toy store repeatedly while they KNOW they cannot have anything. It's cruel to yourself. I think Leed is right in advising a clean break. It hurts at first, certainly...but it's better in the long run, and it's far better than dragging out the pain by trying to be to him what you know you can't be, you know?

Do take care, and God bless.

Hugs,
Harley

[Bipolar mom]

I have an ex that completely broke my heart, even though I am married now with kid and he just recently got married. I don't thinking can ever be friends with him. I tried after the last time we broke up, but it was just way to hard.

You say you still love him and that it is too painful, so honestly it may be good to keep your distance for a while and maybe try to be friends when your heart starts to heal.

[hamster-bamster]

People vary very widely in how they deal with exes. I do not speak with exes. That is the unfortunate truth. One man I am currently in a casual r/s with not only takes his laundry to his ex wife's house (he lives in an apartment without a washing machine) but also helps her raise her child with another man (not him). So these are the two extremes, one very negative and one very positive, with everything in-between being possible by mutual arrangement.

Since he wants to be friends, he is basically making you an offer. The ball is now in your court. Do you want to take his offer? It is entirely up to you to do what suits you best.

[hamster-bamster]

Harley's toystore analogy is good; don't do masochistic things in the name of friendship.

[NinaNina]

Having read your previous thread, I think it is too soon for you and your ex to be friends, because of all the feelings and hurt there. I'm not saying you can never be friends-that is something that is up to the two of you, but I think right now you need to take some time to think, process and figure out what you want to do. I wish you all the best, take care

[Victoria_20]

Yes... But long distances help

[hamster-bamster]

Jenn... I think you mis-worded the title of your thread. You cannot STAY friends with him. To STAY friends with someone, you have to BE friends with him, and you are not friends, you are former lovers. The question becomes, can you become friends with him?