[insideout]

I don't know if I am being overly critical but I cannot stand a person with bad table manners.
When I meet someone, they could be the best looking, smartest person around, but when they start smacking their lips while they chew, it's over!

How do I learn to tolerate this?

[unaluna]

Aaauugh!!! No, using the wrong fork is bad table manners. Smacking lips is DISGUSTING!!! Okay maybe I'm not the best person to ask

[Emotionally Dead]

I don't know that it is really something you can control. Your best bet is to either avoid it (as in you don't go with that person out to eat) or to ignore it. Those are your two choices. If you are in a relationship with someone with bad table manners or dating someone with bad table manners then obviously you can't avoid it. Your best bet in that situation is to ignore it. Try not to look, try not to pay attention. Distract yourself from it. You could always talk to the person about it but I don't know how well someone would perceive you coming to them about their table manners. Other than that I really don't know what to tell you. Best of luck!

[Freefall1974]

I don't tolerate those "noises" either. Smacking, chewing with mouth open, slurping, SUCKING teeth after eating. I have to avoid all of that. I either avoid meals with these friends, which is difficult, or time my restroom breaks according to anticipated noise.

Hankster-using the wrong fork? How's that???

[Livebythesea]

I don't like when people can't hold their knife and fork properly when cutting food...total turnoff if I was on a date.

[shezbut]

insideout,

All of the described above things bug the heck out of me as well. Even as a little girl, I was this way. My father and brother BOTH breathed so loudly through their noses, it sounded like a storm! I know my descriptions probably sounds cruel and extreme, but it seriously bugged me. Adding fuel to the fire, my sense of hearing is abnormally sensitive ~ so it has always been unbearable, and I feel like a total jerk!

Like my ex-hub, one of my daughter's can't breathe through her nose and chew with her mouth closed. Something about their nasal passageways. I often remind myself of that fact when I clench my teeth, ready to grind. (BTW, as soon as I notice myself doing that, I relax the jaw muscle. Repeatedly clenching your jaw causes irreparable painful damage.) Closing my eyes for a second or two and breathing deeply eventually helps. Maybe that needs to be done more quickly, to avoid the tension from building inside?? Something to think about.

[Sabrina]

I love my husband of almost 12 years more than I love life. But boy oh boy does he eat noisily. I find myself becoming incredibly tense but I have never ever said a word to him about it.

Hmm ... Food for thought ... I need to work on my table manners ... Of course, I wasn't taught too much of anything growing up, and being deprived of food as a source of punishment, I learned to suck it down fast when it did get put down in front of me ... I generally hunch over my plate with a protective arm around it ... Not that that ever actually protected anything when I was a kid ... Of course, that was then and this is now, so thanks for the heads up ... I'm gonna get started on this right away ... !!!

,
Pfrog!

[-jimi-]

I don't eat loudly but I have a bad table manner. I developed it as a protest to when I grew up, we learned table manner very early and it was pretty strict. Actually 90 % of my active upbringing was table manners. In Europe rules are different. You NEVER eat with the fork like a spoon, the tynes always go downwards. You never hold it sideways and scoop things on it with the knife. You hold it diagonally and push up food on the front of it even if it means balancing peas on a hill. And you NEVER hold the fork in your right hand. Death penalty for putting the knife in your mouth. And no elbows on the table!

When you were served cookies there is a set order to eat them, and you have to eat one of each and only one. Cookies are counted. Coffee was served in small cups where you cannot put your finger into the handle and you are not supposed to. I once did and got stuck.

When things eased up a little and people started drinking their afternoon/evening coffee or tea from mugs, you got yelled at if you wrapped your hands around it for warmth. Only the handle should ever be touched by a hand.

Today as an adult I eat with a fork only. I hold it in my right hand. I use it as a spoon if needed. I rarely eat at the table. When I'm alone it even happens I drink from the plate or lick it. I pick up food with my hands if I feel like it. I chew bones clear. I fold my open sammiches over. I eat apple cores. I don't have any matching china. I don't have any display pots. Not even a sauce spoon! And I cuddle up and wrap my hands around my mug!

Eating out I wouldn't eat like a pig but I don't use the knife when I don't need to and I spoon with my fork. Even with my parents around. They know I'm a lost cause now. Setting rules too strict for a child and you could end up with a rebel.

Originally Posted by hankster

Aaauugh!!! No, using the wrong fork is bad table manners.

Umm really? I wouldn't know the difference or reasons for using the different types of forks! I don't know many people who would either wow. I didn't know such things were so important today.

I try very hard to teach my kid not to eat noisily but unfortunately its not easily controlled either. i don't think people do it intentionally or are even conscious of it. Still, I try to make him aware of it, in the hopes he'll learn to control it better.

As for what to do, I agree with the idea of either not eating around that person or if you have to, try not to focus on it.