[LoveU]

I have been divorced for over 10 years. My ex is a gambler and never do child support financially or mentally. I do not want to deal with him in any sense.
My children listen to him somehow and I do not care to defense myself because I am sick of his atitude.
He is broke all the time and asked my daughter to sign up the cell phone plan for him and never intend to pay her anything since the day I was still paying her bills.
I was mad and tried many time asked him to pay for the bill or just get off the hook. But his attitude is like "none of your business"
He kept saying that his daughter pay for him and whenever he has money he will pay back...but he has money to go to bar, gamble but has no money to pay ????
Three years went by and how long this issue will last ???? He is not simply just asked for the additional line, but new IPhone, data plan and call international and max out data plan so She has to pay hundred extra cost????
My daughter said she is happy to cover his bill, but she owes me money but stop paying me back for 6 months already while I am still paying bills at home. She got money for three coming vacations but not saying anything about going back to pay me the installment for her debt. Now she got mad too when I asked her to pay back the money I lend her and She started like " fine, I had no life now I will pay you back!" What is going on here??? I said if she has money to cover his mess than pay me the money back. I do not think I am wrong here.
How do I deal with these irresponsible behaviors?
I am appreciated all the inputs and hopefully will get some good advices because I can not handle this any more, thank!

It sounds like your daughter has a codependent relationship with her father and she's his caretaker. Now since she sounds like an adult, I'm assuming, you cant' really stop her from supporting him and doing those things, only try to talk some sense into her. If she owes you money and not paying you back but supporting him, you're not wrong to be angry or upset about this at all. I think that in the future you need to keep from lending her money, or bailing her out (unless it's a dire need of course I would always help my kids if it's an emergency) of anything until she shows in good faith that she'll repay you or at the very very least be grateful and actually appreciate you. It seems to me that you've been taken for granted a lot and her behavior seems to mirror his even if it's not with the gambling and drinking. The irresponsibility and misplaced priorities are what she seems to follow her father in.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I feel for you *hugs*