[mandm6]

Hi all

1) I (27 – single child) been dating this girl (26) with severe Bipolar for the last 8 weeks. Who is a strong feminist and very independent girl. She was always nice to me calling with all the sweet names etc and was there for me and want to spend most of the time with me during that time. She bought me nice presents and helped me with quitting smoking which I thought it would be the one of the hardest thing to do in my life. She was just a miracle and she even read the book of Allan Carr and sent me messages (quotes) during the initial phase of quit smoking. She is one of the nicest, beautiful, lovely, charming and inspiring person I ever dated.

During this time, she enrolled her into the subjects that was due and want to finish the degree next year. She was all positive. Last week she had decided to move to a different town (1300kms away from me) and study, work as a nanny and basking on the street and singing in pubs. She is a very good singer and guitarist. When I asked her to think more practical as she is working for the government as a child support worker (good money & which she often tells she hates and at the same time she loves working with the kids) have told me that she has made so many bad decisions in the past. I tried to make her understand and trying to help her.... she went off at me. All of the sudden she texted me saying I am tedious and patronising etc and does not want me anymore. She wants to explore her life and be happy. I am heart broken now. 1 week ago she just got me a Beatles coffee cup set "She loves you", 2013 calendar and few other things.

Few online tests suggested that I have either dependent/avoidant personality or a histrionic personality disorder and I think it is true due to my childhood events.
I am an emotional person and emotions control me and I can't even digest this whole thing. She is so angry and mad at me after me making many attempts to see her and make her understand how much I liked her. She is saying that its all over, she want to be left alone and wants space. She even met her ex the day before this all happened. She often said that I deserve a better girl than her.

2) I don't know what to do and I am really upset, sad, anxious and depressed. I quit smoking cold turkey and my gf have me a packet (50 x .5mg) xanax to help with the anxiety symptoms after tamazapams, melatonin, and Nitrazapam failed from my Doctor who prescribed to me.

My doctors reckon I have anxiety due to quit smoking, but I haven’t told him about the xanax (alprolazam) and the recent break up. He took an ECG, blood tests etc which were all normal other than a mild fatty liver. He does not want to give me any psychotic drugs as he thinks I am a 27 years old healthy man.

Having trouble, recently my sleep, heart racing/pounding and discomfort in the neck. I cant stop thinking about all this and I am social worker by profession and I already go through a lot of emotions (like seeing someone like suffering and dying who are of my dad’s age or a mum’s age)

Conclusion

Any hope that she will change her mind and come back to me? Or should I just move on thinking that she is not the right girl. I am pretty scared that even when she comes back this same thing will happen again and ill get hurt. I am very immature when it comes to emotions. I just can’t cope with it. Can someone please help me and give advise or suggestions to cope with this. I am heart broken L and want to get over it. Please help me.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. I'm sorry you got hurt. But the fact that she has severe BiPolar tells me that even IF she came back, this would happen again. And from the sounds of it, I doubt she WILL come back.

Your best bet is to just get over her, and get on with your life. You're a very intelligent man, and I'm sure you'll find someone who will be TRUE to you in every respect. Find someone who doesn't have a lot of issues, who isn't BiPolar especially, and who DESERVES you. You are a caring, kind, person and you deserve to be loved. Don't sit and wait for her to come back, only to be hurt again.

There are many women out there who would love to get to know you, and spend time with you. You just have to look in the right places. Best of luck and please let us know what happens, okay? I'm pulling for you. And please take good care of yourself. Don't sit at home pining for her -- get out there among people. God bless and good luck! Hugs, Lee

[mandm6]

Thank you very much for your advise, thoughts and very healing. I very much appreciate it. I am still heart broken. Don't know why. I know that she is not the girl for me, but I still feel very sad, and horrible after the affection we had shared for 8 weeks. Plus quitting smoiking cold turkey 4 weeks ago makes it even harder.

Originally Posted by Leed

Bless your heart. I'm sorry you got hurt. But the fact that she has severe BiPolar tells me that even IF she came back, this would happen again. And from the sounds of it, I doubt she WILL come back.

Your best bet is to just get over her, and get on with your life. You're a very intelligent man, and I'm sure you'll find someone who will be TRUE to you in every respect. Find someone who doesn't have a lot of issues, who isn't BiPolar especially, and who DESERVES you. You are a caring, kind, person and you deserve to be loved. Don't sit and wait for her to come back, only to be hurt again.

There are many women out there who would love to get to know you, and spend time with you. You just have to look in the right places. Best of luck and please let us know what happens, okay? I'm pulling for you. And please take good care of yourself. Don't sit at home pining for her -- get out there among people. God bless and good luck! Hugs, Lee