[Mawkish]

I have dealt with a lot of stigma due to my mental illnesses, many people have derided me and I have been ostracized and scoffed at. But the only thing more reprehensible than overtly expressing your disdain towards mentally ill persons -such as myself- is telling them what they want to hear, encouraging their behavior so that you have entertaining evenings gawking at the streams and streams of rubbish poured out by a 19 (later 20) year-old from some God-forsaken country for your own personal amusement for almost a year, having ringside access to some freakshow. Oh, and we all know "interesting" is just a euphemism for "insane".

I looked up to him and he just viewed me as a joke. He would watch me maunder away on various subjects just for his own cruel amusement while pretending to care.