[Bathony]

I don't have any friends because nobody likes me. Nobody cares about me. My mailbox is always empty. This is depressing. I'm abroad now, interesting things happen in my useless lyfe and I can't tell about this anyone because I don't have anyone. Being a foreigner makes it worse and I feel more alinated. Especially that in the language school I used to attend there were always groups of nationalities: a bunch of Arabic-speakers, the Ukrainians, the Thais, the Lithuanians, only I didn't have anyone to talk to. This feels awful. I'm a good person, helpful, considerate, why the ****ing **** nobody likes me? Everyone has friends or at least collegues, even the evil ppl.

[gimmeice]

Sending you some hugs

I am not sure how long you have been in your current location but sometimes it takes a long time to make friends especially with communication issues. Making like minded friends is sometimes easier on forums like this, I have made a few friends here in the past that I talk to often, even when I am away from the computer.

Another idea for sharing the exciting things going on in your life is to start a blog, sometimes blogging can be frustrating because you may not have many if any readers but it always feels better for me to get those things out instead of holding them in.

I truly hope things get better for you.

[LucyG]

I'm sorry you're going through this, and hope you find someone to talk to soon.

You would be very surprised how many people have NO friends!! It's much more common than you think, especially with the TV/pop culture that makes it appear like everyone is surrounded by dozens of people all the time. Don't assume everyone else has tons of friends because it just isn't true.

A lot of what you're probably going through is that you don't have a subculture you belong to at your school the way the other groups do. Keep your eyes open to how they interact and I'll bet you'll notice some of them that really aren't part of the clique.

Originally Posted by Bathony

I don't have any friends because nobody likes me. Nobody cares about me. My mailbox is always empty. This is depressing. I'm abroad now, interesting things happen in my useless lyfe and I can't tell about this anyone because I don't have anyone. Being a foreigner makes it worse and I feel more alinated. Especially that in the language school I used to attend there were always groups of nationalities: a bunch of Arabic-speakers, the Ukrainians, the Thais, the Lithuanians, only I didn't have anyone to talk to. This feels awful. I'm a good person, helpful, considerate, why the ****ing **** nobody likes me? Everyone has friends or at least collegues, even the evil ppl.

((((Bathony)))) I am sorry you are feeling so bad and that you feel alone and alienated.

Perhaps you can use your strengths (kindness, efficiency, considerate, good heart) to reach out to others to make a difference in their lives...such as working in a volunteer capacity with the elderly or helping children that have no parents. I am sure once you start, you will meet like-minded, good hearted people.

Feel free to write here and let us know how you are doing and please keep in touch.

Rose

[sukothefox]

There will always be people that are like you in some way, dont worry. I remember I felt I was the only one that still plays pokemon, and then I discovered that there are a lot and lots of people who play it. Be patient, and most importantly, be optimistic. If you think negatively, it will feed bad thoughts about the other people and it will cause you to withdraw more, and so on.
I'd recommend to at least try to communicate with the other groups? Tell them you want to learn their language, and that you can teach them. Who knows, you can form a very strong bond!

[Bathony]

Gah, I don't have time to waste on helping the elderly, I already have a job! How can I volunteer if I'm a foreigner who doesn;t speak Norwegian? I also said I used to go that school, I left because the teacher was so unprofessional. Moreover, I have no business in learning those other foreigners' languages, since I'm busy learning Norwegian all by myself. To my surprise, it is not that easy to communicate in English in Norway. And I felt rejected also in my motherland. In every school I attended people gradually divided into groups and was left alone. Same at work. Oh, and two friends of mine who were first to hear about my troubled past did not hesitate to blame me for the hypotetical sexual abuse of my niece by my brother whose whereabouts I don't know. So, yah... kill me now. I can't even say I'll end up with 99 cats because my only kitteh is sterile and it doesn't sound that dramatic to end up with ONE cat. Gosh, nobody understands me.

[ariesmars]

nobody likes me either

Sorry you feel lonely, and pretty angry too - fair enough.

Where about in Norway are you? Congrats in getting a job already tho, thats ace. I lived in Norway as a kid, a small suburb outside of Oslo, and I found that a lot of Norwegians wanted to talk to me so they could learn English! Is there an evening class you can take to help learn the language? Kudos for teaching yourself, just thought you may meet people there too.

Anyway, are there any groups to join to explore your new home? Maybe some rambling groups, or perhaps learning to ski or ice skate if you dont already know? What about foreign language groups? My old summer job while at uni was being a 'fun' leader for foreign students and showing them some of the UK. Is there anything like that there?

I know you wont want to read this, as things seem hard - life's shown you some horrible times (being blamed over abuse says nothing about you, just the strange warped people who think so). But the best way to conquer this feeling and situation of loneliness is to try and plaster a smile on your face and get out there again. Its the only way to meet people - sure, a few will be right ducks, but there may just be some new friends who are more like minded, and can see you for who you are.

Sorry that you dont have time to help old people, or do any charity work. I thought that was quite a good idea too. Best of luck, and I hope you dont give up trying. Things dont get better by themselves, unfortunately.

[yellowted]

I like you, you will alway find someone on this site to talk to.

quote: Everyone has friends or at least collegues, even the evil ppl.

my mail box is always empty unless there is a bill in it, i lost my so called friends when i became ill and have no family contact at all, so yep i am pretty much alone in the world too but i am definitely not evil. i try to look at it that likes attract so as no one is attracted to being my friend I must be UNIQUE, too good for them! just think of the birthday and christmas gifts you don't have to buy, look at how much that will save you!

Volunteering is a great way to meet people,that could be anything from cutting the lawn of a disabled neighbour to putting books away in the local libary.

have you thought of teaching your native language in the country you are now in, that is very big over here.

try looking for groups that interest you and build up the courage to join them.

As much as i disagree with them, churches do a good job at involving newcommers to make them feel welcome.

try searching the net for groups in your area, loads of places have walking groups, book clubs or knitting circles etc

many people with difficult pasts or difficult nows feel they are different or not liked by their peeers, it is a normal response in a difficult situation.

[Bathony]

Mah goth, who would have wanted to learn Polish in Norway? It's like teaching Norwegian to the Poles- no one wants that. Dunno why everyone talks about charity and volunteering- I might have mentioned that I am a foreigner here, I don't speak the language, I barely know how to get to the grocery store, it took me ages to find the farmacy. Regarding the church- I am a Roman Catholic, here most of the people are Protestans. Not that I have anything against them but it would be weird to hang with them in their church. And when I was at that useless language school, I gave my e-mail address to a girl and she took the piece of paper with that address and gave me one with her address. I wanted to write to her and then I noticed she wrote her address on my paper, so she doesn't have my e-mail. Well, that's a nicely veiled way of saying '**** off, you bore'. Despite that, I wrote to her and of course she didn't answer. Why should she.

Well, that's hopeless. Nobody likes me and I'll never know why. Except for the idea that everyone just hates me because I've been abused and nobody likes such girls. Maybe everyone knows I don't give a damn about my niece and don't care if he would hurt her or not, because when I was little and then bigger nobody saved me and this makes me a monster. Or perhaps it's because I'm ugly, short and let's say that again UGLY. Never mind.

[Sojourn]

Are you looking for anyone to befriend you? Or are there conditions (i.e. someone in RL rather than on the internet)?

If you just want someone to care or someone to talk to, you can write me anytime. I am more than happy to be your friend. Please keep in mind that everyone is different and a friendship relies on people accepting each other for who they are. I stay busy with work and school and my family but I will make time for you. I can't write every day but I will write. I am sure I am not the only either. As has been evident by these other responses, there are a lot of people here who care. Genuinely care. Write anyone you like. Write as many as you like. You might be surprised how quickly you will gain new friends.

[Trippin2.0]

Have you actively tried to befriend anyone? People cant read minds (I hope) so we have to bring our part too and let them know we want to hang out. And sure, hanging out with Protestants could be weird, but does weird automatically equal bad? You wont know you hate it until you try it. Maybe look into group activities designed for foreigners, my friend is Bahrain and she has found a nice little community of foreigners to do things with over weekends, hope you find something like that.

[Iamhealingme]

Body language. You sound like you have enveloped yourself in a dark cloud with rain pouring over you. Doesn't matter what you say even if you have a smile on your face at the time, people see your body language and don't want it to surround them so they stay away. Instead of reaching out right now can you reach in and find some kind of spark? If you can, it will show to others and they will be drawn to you. I say this because I have noticed this with myself. When you are down people stay away and some will even kick you when you are down....human nature? Once you have a grip on things and don't need people as much...they show friendliness. I shake my head at it but it is the way it is.

Depression is a horrible thing, and this is clear what you have. No amount of idea's that people come up with or ways to try and help you, your depression is dismissing them and shoving them all away.
Its a horrible circle to be in, and until you try to break it and help yourself (by getting out there, or working through some stuff with a therapist) it will just go around and around. I wish you all the best.

[sukothefox]

we can be friends. i dont discriminate against online friendships. a friendship is a friendship, period. also, remember that you atittude is important. i think that you have been projecting to others how you feel with body language as stated above. you just need to change those thoughts, and remember there will be at least one person who will like you

you've friends here that care about you bathany.

you could start by reaching out to other members on here

you'd be surprised how good you feel after you've helped some one

[Bathony]

Same odl story. On a photography forum I asked which camera should I buy and I added my 'mamełe' advises me the camera she used to have. 'Mamełe' is 'mom' in Yiddish, the language that influenced my native tongue and simply sounds cool. Everybody else would receive answers to the question and pieces of advice, but not me. They started making fun of me and mocking me. Everybody does hate me, every single body. I'll live my life alone. This is pointless.

[Dreamy01]

I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. I had hardly any friends at school. As an adult I moved to a new area and for several years I had no friends at all. I know what it's like to feel so alone. It takes time. I wonder if anyone on this site is in your area? You could perhaps post and find out. Or try some other sites related to personal interests and get to know some people, see if any live near you. Do as I did recently and join a penpal site - it's not the same as face contact I know but there's something very comforting and connecting about writing to another person and sharing thoughts and feelings.

The friends I have in my area now were all originally online friends. I don't get out much and feel isolated. The internet has been a lifeline for me.

If this doesn't work, or perhaps as well as this, you could think about what you could do to help others in the same situation. Trust me there are loads. Or perhaps you could volunteer somewhere? I know you're young, but some companies love younger volunteers to help out. Ask in your area. Be proactive. Then you may draw others to you.

Just read your signature. I'm sorry you feel so bad about yourself. This isn't intended as criticism, only to help, but if you feel that bad about yourself and life it's very likely you will push others away without meaning to. Those negative thoughts you have will create what you don't want in your life and reinforce your bad feelings. I know it's hard, but sometimes the first step is to believe it can be different. Then you will give others a chance. If all your subconscious mind is hearing is that everything is pointless, everything you see will reinforce that. Trust me, it happens to me.

[Trippin2.0]

If you can, I suggest you find a therapist, maybe 1 that speaks english,so you have a common language. Some therapists do online skype therapy, so you dont even have to have a Norwegian T. Clearly you have a delusion about people hating you, and its not helping your social life at all. Not 1 person that posted on your thread displayed any hatred toward you, yet you are convinced we hate you. Please seek professional help so that you may get thru this very lonely hurdle in your life. I wish you well

We are here if you want to chat / post / whatever. There are great, loving, supportive, understanding people here that genuinely care. And many that can relate. You are not alone. Maybe at some point you will consider speaking with a T. In the meantime, try not to push us away. We are here if you need us.