[Lost321]

Am I losing my mind or what?? How is it my fault that my feelings get hurt when my husband makes rude comments at my expense?? If it bothers me (even if it's just a bad joke) shouldn't he apologize for being insensitive?? Once in awhile I could handle but the constant little digs I can't. And it always becomes my fault!

[Big Mama]

Been there. My H drops these little hints and says little rude comments. Asking him to apologize or expecting an apology would be to much to ask. It to get tired of the little ugly hints. It is odd how certin ones of us are always the ones who are wrong.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

[unaluna]

Maybe you can agree to put a dime in a jar everytime you insult each other? If you do it too. I tried to get my mom to be nice to me for one day - she couldn't do it. I think it becomes a bad habit. My t. I think always tries to be sweet to break me of this habit.

[Big Mama]

good idea. I have done that w/ my kids. My H wouldn't play along. But keep the good idea's coming

[Lost321]

The problem would be he doesn't see them as insults. In his mind it's either a joke or connstructive criticism. He walked in yesterday looked at the chili I had started ( which by the way was really good ) and said "What the hell are you trying to cook?" with this disgusted look on his face and then doesn't understand why I'm "pouting". I know that it's not that big a deal but what mafe it worse was that I was in such an amazingly good mood he wrecked it.

Personally? I wouldn't suggest this but these men need a good whack upside the head for being a**holes. Sorry but I grew up with a brother that insulted me constantly and it was his putting me down that has caused a lot of my self esteem issues. I don't think you should put up with it whatsoever. When he insults your cooking, don't let him have any of it. Tell him if he can't respect you in the kitchen, he can figure out what to eat by himself. I'm not kidding. Maybe if he figures out that it's a privelage to have someone cook for you he'd shut up.

I really like sandman's suggestion with the food and not letting him have any of it.
I guess its if he acts like a child, then treat him like one.

I also like the dime one. But instead of expecting him to put a dime in a jar, do it yourself. Then show him how many times he has insulted or 'made a joke' at you.

Just out of interest, how is he if and when you 'joke' at him? I wonder if he's the sort who can dish it out, and not take it.. Good luck. Prob with people like that, they never seem to think they're doing wrong. And even if you do manage to get through to them, it doesnt take long before it slowly creeps back in. At least that's what I have found. :-(

[Leed]

Riotgrrrl ~ you're right - usually they can't TAKE it. My ex used to "cut me down" all the time with digs like that, and when I turned the tables on HIM, Oh boy did he get mad! He could dish it out, but he sure couldn't take it!

I like the dime idea too. I'll bet that after awhile of doing that, she'll have enough money to buy herself a nice dress! LOL I wish I had thought of that, cause my ex would do it every day, many times a day.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, Lost. You don't deserve it! Don't let him have your meals if he acts like a baby next time. Tell him to go sit in the corner, and suck his thumb!

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee