[sweetpeas]

I am 28 years old. Eldest of three. I have my own child now her only grandson. He is the reason I feel it is important to keep her involved in my life.

The problems start when I date. As long as I am single things go so smoothly. No problem with me at all. She picks and finds reasons to not like whom ever I date to the point they leave me because they are tired of the drama or I allow her to get to me and leave them alone..

Since having my son I have settled with partner been together for almost 5 years now. Three years ago my mother and aunt got into an argument over money and my mother decided to come and stay with me till things cooled off with them. That period lasted 1 year and a half. While she was staying with me my partner was battling her own addiction. (I was not aware how bad it was or else I wouldnt of invited my mother into the picture) well I ended up having to call the law on my partner and she was arrested and spent time in jail placed on probation and went to rehab for stealing my mothers jewelry. My jail term started as well since my mother was still living with me. Every night for a year and a half I had to take the punishment and emotional abuse since it was my partner who stole from her. My partner and I lived apart while she worked on her sobriety. There was a stay away order placed by my mother. Well on the weekends I went to be with her attend NA meetings and help with what I needed to know on not being a enabler. Which I was. When I would return home it would all start over again every sunday evening.

My mother sometimes would ask about her sobriety and then a good convo would turn into a yelling match. I had no answers for her. She couldnt even get answers because my partner was not allowed to speak to her see her mail her nothing.

There was 3 adults and 1 child living in a 2 bedroom apartment and the cooling off period was going alot longer than I thought so I started shopping around for a bigger place I was cooped up and needed my son to have his own room for a change. My mother didnt want to move from the apartment. Around that time My mother and my partner were able to talk for once and she made her amends to my mother and my mother accepted her amends or so we thought.

I found a bigger place and I fell inlove with it. I told my mom I was moving and I had found a bigger place that my partner would be living there and her and my sister could come. She said ok.

My partner because of the crime she committed had misdemeanors on her background so it was hard for her to find a real job. She works part time and helps me out with my son alot.

That is not good enough for my mom. While I thought things were good they really werent. When my partner would do my sons laundry she would just do his. He is only 6 yrs old he cant do his own. My mother would be like when she is washing his why cant she go ahead and wash mine?

My mother didnt work. She walked out on a job and then lost her income she was getting from the state. I was supporting her and my sister.

I work a fulltime job and coming home to my mother complaining that someone wasnt washing her clothes. Then I was telling her my son had his own room and bed and didnt need to be sleeping in her bed he was old enough to sleep in his own. We forever argued about that.

Then she went on to tell me I was working his child hood away and I will never get these years back. I have to support myself and my son and them how else would we have made it? She didnt work during our childhood and still didnt spend time with us.. But I blocked it out and kept on going.

Then when my partners mom moved back to town and wanted to spend time with us she would come spend a few days at our house well that was even more for my mother to complain about.

While my partners mom was there my mother abused her sleeping med ambien and had my son dressing her and wanted me to undress her for her to go to kroger late one night and I had it I told her to go to bed and not get up till the morning. The next day I had a text that said im sorry if i embarrassed you.

two days later she text said she was moving out the following monday. The next day I had my partner take my son so I could talk to her about all that was going on. Those 6 hours of my life was the worst I have ever felt in my life. My mother told me she hated me and put me down said things to me I never thought a mother could say to her child. After trying to talk and not getting anywhere because she wanted me to say she was right and smooth it over like everyone else does when she started in on my child putting me down about him I told her to leave that day not wait 1 more day. She continued to down me then beg me to let her stay. I just couldnt deal with it anymore. How much do you endure before you break?

When she left that was the hardest decision I ever made in my life. I was a complete wreck and had to pretend my life wasnt falling apart when my son came home that night.

Two weeks later my mother asked if she could get my son even though my gut told me not too I always said I wouldnt ever keep him from anyone. Well the entire weekend her and my aunt harassed me called me and yelled at me and then would tell me if they were going to get him back to me on that sunday. That was a terrifying feeling. Not knowing what mean things they are saying in front of him. Well she got him back to me but the next day she called dept of family and children services on me said I was on drugs and had the acne to prove it. (While under stress I have cystic acne come up) Said that I couldnt show where my money was going. I was taking care of everyone I never had money. Said my house was always nasty and he wasnt being taken care of. I am OCD about a clean house. The day after the report was made I was called by DFCS to do a home visit and my grocery trip I was in the middle of needed to be interrupted so they could come out and talk with us. Now I am a child who was taken by DFCS from my mother and this is never what I wanted my own child to go through. I was drug tested so was my partner. We were clean so nothing ended up happening but that was my mothers punishment for my asking her to leave me house one day earlier and kicking her out even though she said she was leaving was. Not only did she call DFCS but she also called my Partners probation officer and told her all the same things. The probation officer tests you surprising tests to make sure your not doing anything your not supposed to do. That was my mother punishing my partner.

So after the DFCS thing I was like I just need to get away from her. She then ends up in the ER and I go up there and we try to get over things she still says she didnt call DFCS then one minute she admits to punish my partner she says. I went over to see her on Christmas eve and she continually harasses me about my partner and says its all her fault. Im trying to be happy for my child and my mom is in my ear talking crap about my partner. how it is all her fault and my mother doesnt know who I am anymore. Finally my brother told her to stop and she goes onto say that she is making him her living will beneficiary because my sister is scatter brained and she cant trust me because I kicked her out of the house.
After I left she kept calling and saying hurtful things and I take it until finally she started on my child again and I told her to leave me alone. Then Christmas day she text and said please have my grandson call me and I didnt have my phone while I was visiting with my father i left my phone in the car and wasnt going to have her ruin what holiday I had left anyway because she had done enough to me the night before.

On the way home we call and no answer we text and no answer so I went on home. I am not on Facebook so I didnt know that since I didnt call or text when she wanted this time my punishment was the whole thing about every wrong thats been done to her "her jewelry stolen" "me kicking her out" was aired on Facebook for the whole world to read. Everything but what she did to us of course. Before I read it I called and asked Mama please take what you put on there off and she said no and hung up on me. I text and told her I never wanted to speak to her again when I read what she put on there. All my life she has been the victim and all I ever wanted was for her to love me and be proud of the woman I have become. Instead I get beat down put down and I am tired of it. I have had enough. Sorry its so long but I couldnt keep it inside any longer.

[Leed]

Sweetie, I'm so very sorry this has happened to you. You know, we cannot pick our family. And it's unfortunate. I wouldn't have picked MY family. Both my parents were alcoholics, and all us 4 girls got NO attention whatsoever. None. We NEVER got one hug, we were NEVER told we were loved - not once. We were just pieces of furniture.

You didn't deserve to be treated the way you were. And even tho your mother is BiPolar, she still knows right and wrong. Yes, she's very impulsive -- but she knows what she's doing is wrong. She gets angry, and just does things out of spite. I know that sometimes she can't control what she does -- but there's a limit as to what you can handle too.

Some people in our lives are toxic -- and that's when we have to get and stay away from them. Does she refuse help? Does she have a therapist? If she refuses help, and won't see a therapist, then you have to stay away from her. You can't continue to put yourself and your SON in a place to be hurt! Especially your SON -- he can't grow up remembering his grandma as being a course of pain!!! It's better he not remember her at ALL.

Breaking from your mother might be painful for you, but it's better than having your business being plastered all over Facebook! Stay away -- and you'll feel much more peaceful and serene. God bless and please take care of your little family. Hugs, Lee