[sigh-no-more]

I want to write about it cause I'm unable to continue like this...

My problems started 3 years ago when I met this guy. We fell in love madly and everything seemed to be perfect. Then he started to humiliate me (calling me fat), betray me (lots of times), blame me in everything.

2,5 years later I finally got out of this relationship thanks to my best friend. I got my self-confidence back. And I felt like I don't love this guy anymore, I understood all the things he had done to me and I knew I deserved better. It felt like last months he just used me sexually. I mean, he was nice to me only when he knew things could get into sex.

So, I moved on. It felt wonderful to be single... oh, I had lots of fun. My ex wanted me back, but I stayed strong.

After we broke up with my ex boyfriend I told him to go back to his ex girlfriend because the guy had betrayed me with her and I knew they could make it happen again. Some weeks later, they did. And six months later, they are still in a relationship, though they have betrayed eachother, and the guy still sent me letters telling me how much he loves me. I said we're done.
But a week later something happened. We we're together at my place at once and things led futher... I knew it was gonna be a relationship again this time and I felt like trying again, but he lied. He, again, avoided this topic and so I told him to go back to his girl and forget about it. He was okay with that. Yesterday we were having a movie-night at his brother's and... we kissed, hugged again. Then I was like: "Okay, I'm going to discuss it right now with him." and then he came to me saying "Okay, I'm going to my girlfriend now. Bye." What? So I told him to forget it all, AGAIN, and said it was all for fun... even though it wasn't. He said he's okay with that kind of relationship that we are having just fun...

I don't know if I really love him or I just miss having someone close to me. I haven't found myself a suitable partner in 6 months and it scares me.
Yesterday, after he had gone to his girl, I couldn't handle my emotions anymore, I cried hysterically and was scared I could fall back to stupid I-want-to-leave-this-world thoughts, so things were really dangerous. I sent him a text saying I really need to talk to him right now, that he should call me and we should meet. You know what he did? Nothing. Later I asked one of his cousins to call him and say the same thing. He switched off his mobile.
Now I'm waiting for his call or him coming online, so I could talk to him. But what to say? I want to leave him, but I feel like I'm not strong enough. At the same time, he said he really likes me the best, wants me back etc (the same story for last 6 months)...

Is there a way out?

[Broncos Chick]

Hi sign-no-more, I'm sorry you are having a bad day! I know know what you are going through. I myself struggle with feelings about a past boyfriend and not knowing how to let go a lot! I found for myself the best thing to do was delete his number. his texts, stay away from places that I know I can run into him at and change your number so that he con't contact you. The feelings don't go away over night but everyday it gets easier. Sounds to me like this guy doesn't deserve a once of your day, but we keep letting him back in. I know it's hard, I've been there, but the best thing for you to do is concentrate on making yourself happy. Make a date with some girlfriends, take a walk, exercise...anything that helps to get him off your mind. If he really loves you and likes you best he will do whatever he has to to get you back and be serious about it. Don't settle for anything less then you deserve. Also, maybe you should stay out of the dating game for awhile? Filling the void will make you feel better for a minute, but until you are truly content with yourself and your past relationship you will never be happy with anyone...just a thought! Good luck to you

[katya093]

okay so
you were un happy when you were with him and
worked so hard to become single again and you felt even better when all that drama and **** was off your shoulders so
why is this even a question ?
I would not even over think it to much

either you play the old broken disk again or you live your own life you tried so hard to get back
simple as that
dow hats best for u
not for him and you
also he should not be sending you any sort of" love notes" if he is with someone else
lol some guy there , if he is doing that behind some other womans back it tends to be a pattern .
good luck chika

[sigh-no-more]

Thank you both so very much!
Broncos, you really gave me a lot of power to keep going. I know that before you can be happy with someone, you must be happy single. That's what I'm going to do now!

I called him and said we're done, and I told him to make this girl happy. I removed his messages and I will avoid him in every possible way I can.

Who betrays with you, will betray you.

I think the case is that you might be afraid to be alone. Take heart, Sigh, it gets better, I promise. I've been one to be in relationships for decades and only recently been out of the latest one and am alone other than my kids. It's gotten better like you did for awhile. He is probably a charismatic guy that you're drawn to but I suggest you resist him with every ounce of energy you have and remain strong. He's no good for you and the way he's playing you and the other girl says to me that that's his thrill and it won't stop. even if he leaves this other girl, he'll either go back to her again or she'll get tired of it and he'll find another to betray you/ cheat on you with. Trust me. He enjoys burning the candle at both ends.

6 months is not that long to be alone and if you're gonna find the right one it's going to take some time, probably a lot longer than 6 months but in the end you'll be happier if you wait and find a good man. Hang in there hun. You can do this *hugs*

[Open Eyes]

You need to "steer clear" of this man, he is only playing head games with you for "his" ego. The reason he teases you is only for "his" ego need to think he can have you at will and nothing more. He obviously doesnt have the capacity to "care" about anyone other than "himself". If you even consider allowing yourself to get caught up in his web of lies, you are not being fair to your own "mental health" or "self esteem".

Don't be with a man just because he is carasmatic, some men use that to tangle women up, they are "not" the kind of man that you can have any kind of "healthy" relationship with.

Open Eyes

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Don't be with a man just because he is carasmatic, some men use that to tangle women up, they are "not" the kind of man that you can have any kind of "healthy" relationship with.

Open Eyes

Agreed. Being charismatic isn't the bad part but those that use it to manipulate women as this guy is... he is not good for any woman IMHO.

[Broncos Chick]

Originally Posted by sigh-no-more

Thank you both so very much!
Broncos, you really gave me a lot of power to keep going. I know that before you can be happy with someone, you must be happy single. That's what I'm going to do now!

I called him and said we're done, and I told him to make this girl happy. I removed his messages and I will avoid him in every possible way I can.

Who betrays with you, will betray you.

Great...sounds like you are moving in the right direction and that makes me happy for you! Stay strong