[yang09]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year already. We're both in college and we live with our parents. Also, we're both from the Philippines. When we started our relationship, his family were so nice to me. They invited me whenever there's a party or even just a small gathering. My boyfriend would always tell me that his family adore me and that makes me so happy, who wouldn't be? Anyway, his family started hating me when he started getting failing grades. They blame me for his failures. I talked to him about it and he said he would try to make things right again, but it would only last for 2 weeks. We fought a lot because he said I was trying to control him (i guess I was but I was just really trying to help). His family didn't know that we fight a lot because of this and still blamed me for his failures.

4 days ago, he saw a wall post in facebook made by an anonymous account who I think was owned by someone holding a grudge on me. it was about my boyfriend making him look bad in public. Actually I was also a victim of this anonymous account by I blocked him so that I wont be able to read his posts. His mom knew about the wall post and she called me and asked me about it. I told her it all started when my bf broke up with his ex and started seeing me ( which was true). Just yeaterday, my BF started ignoring my texts. When he finally texted me back, he told me his family hates me even more and they wanted him to stay away from me. I was really hurt and I asked him if he's giving up on our relationship He said he's confused and doesnt know what to do. He's also afraid that if stop seeing each other for a while, his family would hate me even more. Then I asked him what we should do, he told me we need to be apart from each other for a while, we need to cool down. I dont know if this could help us. I dont know how it will affect us. I really do love him and he told me he loves me too but he's not sure what to do.

[yang09]

any help would be appreciated. I really dont know what to do right now. He's not even talking to me anymore.

[liveforfish]

Sounds like his parents have him under their thumbs, or he's using that as his excuse.

Give him some space and wait for him to make up his mind. I know in some cultures it is disrespectful to disobey parents. Maybe he just wants to keep peace at home. They probably pay for his schooling, ya know.

[katya093]

sounds like ur bfs issues not yours lol if he cant even see past such a little thing that happend
then i dont even know how that relationship will be in the long run .
lets say this account was his ***** *** ex ( excuse my words .. w.e )
they should be pointing figures at her , asking her is she knows about not you
wtf
lol
any wya good luck

I'm sorry you're going through this and my heart goes out to you. I know what it's like to have controlling family like that and it's hard. I was always the rebellious one in the end in the sense that I never let them control me to the point he is letting them. He does indeed need to get his head straight and decide what to do. Unfortunately, if he's asking for time apart regardless of the reasons, the only thing you can do is respect that and be patient. I hope he comes around. If he loves you like he says, he'll stand up for himself and for you and not let them make his decisions for him. But all the while (I dont' know your ages) he's living at home, it's going to be very hard for him to break away from the clearly dysfunctional family dynamics.

I say this from experience. The most growth, the biggest changes happened to me at times when I broke away from those tht would manipulate and control me. First, my family.. they have been 3000 miles away from me for going on 20 years now. but that is when I matured and grew a lot. Since my ex separated from me also, things have changed for the better for me...

Hopefully he's a strong personality that will get to a point where he stands against the controlling behaviors.

*hugs*