No Support System

My therapist and I always touch at least once during our sessions on the fact that I do not have a support system. When I was a little girl, my parents split and became all about themselves. My mother took her frustrations out on me in the form of abuse, and my father was an absentee parent. Their actions took an emotional toll on me, and my depression manifested very early. While my family has a lot of bad cycles in it, it seems like they took especial notice of me.

When my family asked my parents about my "erratic" behavior, they chose to defame my character. The label of "crazy" has followed me my entire life in this family. I have been ill this past almost six years, and none of them have cared. My mother in particular has done so much to undermine my dreams and life path, and I feel crushed under her emotional weight.

I remember having such bright dreams when I was young; they kept me going through the abuse and abandonment. I see my peers making progress in their lives, and I feel so worthless. At the same time I feel that I could fly if only someone cared about me. I'm tired of just existing, I want to live. I want to utilize my talents, I want to make something of my life. But I need help. I need people to care. And it burns inside, knowing that I'm surrounded by almost 100 relatives who have chosen to lie about, ignore and isolate me.

When it comes to friends, my illness taught me who those were. The ones who care the most live far away. I cannot ask someone to disrupt their life just to deal with me.

But the weight is crushing me. How do I get out of this? How does a person move forward in life as an island? Is such a thing even possible?

Many times it boils down to one thing - we have to care enough about OURSELVES in order to get where we want to go! Some people have been abandoned by their families for whatever reason. They, like you, don't have anyone to fall back on. But they don't let that stop them. If they want their dreams bad enough they go ahead and GET them! But they LOVE themselves. They care enough about themselves to go ahead and fight for what they want. And YOU can do that too, if you care enough about yourself.

Don't let anyone else get in your way. Don't let your family determine whether or not you find and GET your dreams. Why should they stop you? If they didn't care enough to support you, then go ahead and do it yourself! You can do this! Talk with your therapist about this. Talk with him about your self-esteem. Evidently that has been suffering. Get it built back up, and I'm SURE you'll be able to do whatever you want to do! You only have one life, and to allow your dreams to slip by would be a tragedy.

God bless you -- I know you can do whatever you set your mind to. Take care and keep us posted. Hugs, Lee

Hello BrokenWinged. Welcome to Psych Central! I am so sorry that your family chose to make you the scapegoat for their failures. I hope your dreams take you away from your family into an environment where you will be accepted and valued for the person you are. I wish you well and I hope you find the support you need here.Hugs! ~IFG