[Rose3]

It's happening again - when I get together with my friend of many years, she begins a steady stream of interrogation. It becomes a non-conversation that I do not know how to change (re-direct away from intrusiveness, away from topics that I do not wish to follow).
I do not know how to change this, and end up feeling trapped in these interrogations during lunch, and then feel angry and irritated. How to change this irritating routine?

[sunrise]

Be very direct with your friend and set boundaries. Do not use an indirect method of "re-direct away from intrusiveness, away from topics that I do not wish to follow." Tell this friend that she is not allowed to interrogate you about topics A, B, and C. If she wants the friendship to continue, she must respect your wishes. If she continues to interrogate you and violates this boundary, stand up and leave the lunch; you will know she is no friend. Good luck.

[Rose3]

Thankyou. It seems that the problem is mostly that it's the steady stream of questions that she generates. Some of the topics are things that I might have spoken about anyway (some are not), but it's her routine of interrogation that seems to be what's bothering me, because it feels like her approach is controlling the entire non-conversation. I want to keep my friend, although it gets to the point where I dread getting together with her because of the interrogations
that try to force me to follow her stream. Some of her questions are ones that she has asked before, and obviously she doesn't register my answers, because she asks the same questions. It's the routine that I want changed. I don't like her to try to turn me into Chatty-Cathy. In a way, it makes me think that she's a person who must fill all time with someone constantly talking. And I am the opposite - I value silences and quiet. So, every time there's a quiet pause, I say to myself "finally some quiet" - yet she's aiming to jump in with another irritating question. How do I courteously (and directly- thank you) communicate to her that I would like this to change. I don't want to have to get up and leave lunch, as I think that's more harsh than needed.