Abusive dad

My friend has an abusive dad and gets beaten at least once or twice a week. She tries to keep low when her dads there but her dad always finds something to scream and hit her for. He occasionally brings out a knife and threatens to kill her dog. He also makes her go outside to sleep sometimes. They've tried a bunch of ways for him to stop being mental. The dad knows what he does isn't right, but he just doesn't care and he knows they won't tell the police or anyone. Her mom can't divorce with him because she can't earn enough money to take care of my friend and her brother, plus tuition for college in the future. They can't call the hotline for an abusive parents because of this too, so my question is how to prevent this from continuing?

Personally, I think a night in jail would do him good. Abuse is abuse -- and any child who is being abused NEEDS HELP. If this young person is being abused, then the police NEED to be called! If you really want to help her, make SURE she calls the police next time. He needs to be prosecuted!!! He cannot keep beating her, her brother and/or her mother! Someone is going to get badly hurt or KILLED. This isn't a movie -- this is real life you're looking at.

Forget the tuition for now -- there is always help available. If she gets killed she won't need it, will she!

So he's going to keep on abusing because he thinks no one is going to call the police, huh? Well next time MAKE her call the police, or YOU do it for her! He has GOT to go to jail and be punished for abuse! This man is dangerous!! And the mother has GOT to sign a complaint! Make the girl call the police PLEASE. And like I said -- forget the tuition. She can get help with that later.

God bless and please take care of YOU AND YOUR FRIEND. Hugs, Lee

I agree with Leed, someone needs to know what's going on. It must be hell for your friend and her family, not to mention how hard it must be for you to watch this happen. I bet too that her whole family have been at least mentally abused, so much so that they, and esp her mum, cannot see a way out of the situation. Abusers have a way of wearing someone down so much that they are just a shell of the person they were, and all fighting spirit and the ability to see clearly/figure a way out has gone.

Have you spoken to your own parents about it? Is there a school nurse or someone who you or your friend can talk to? They would very good, at least they should be, about handling such a delicate situation with your friend. I can understand her being too scared to call the police.

I really do think that this should be stopped. A childhood of this means that she will suffer for the future too, even as an adult. She may never reach college, not to frighten you, but a lot of abusers keep escalating... and who knows what will happen. I really do think that you should talk to your parents, or someone, and let them help.

Keeping everything crossed for you that it works out well for your friend, and am so pleased to see that she has a really good friend in you.

Hugs

I feel the situation is very severe and dire. Being beaten once or twice a week is obviously not something to be taken lightly. I feel like someone should be informed, as soon as possible, just as others have said here. The fact that you and individuals outside the family have knowledge of this situation means that there IS a way for this family to get help. Often people in situations like your friend's might not be brave enough to speak about it, and she obviously is desperate for help. As others have mentioned, her immediate health, mental and physical, as well as her recovery is very important and more important than tuition money, in my opinion.

There are many options for your friend and her family through a local domestic violence shelter too. I am an advocate against DV and I see this happen a lot. A mom does not want to leave the dad because of the finacial issues. It is another power-control factor, and if the family is ready it will be best for them to take away his control by breaking away and trying to escape the abuse. It is always possible to seek refuge with a relative, a trusted friend, preferably not a male friend, or if they must stay at the domestic violence shelter/center (which is very often open and welcoming, and not like a homeless shelter). It's really important for them to contact a place like a dometic violence center since such places will help families like this find a way out SAFELY from the abusive situation vs. just running away in the middle of the night and risking being hurt even worse.

It would be best to talk to someone you trust about this situation, and see if a domestic violence LOCAL center can get involved, not just calling a national abuse hotline. Usually centers have so many resources and ways to get out of a situation like that, and can even help with legal services and getting her dad jail time or strap a restraining order onto him for what he's done, in a best case scenario.

Here are some resources:

http://dreamcatchersforabusedchildre...FU-mPAodmhoADg

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline-home

I don't know what to do...I've told her to call the police or SOMEONE...but she says its useless..I dunno......thanks for trying to help though I'll try talking to her again

The dad needs to go. It's simple. Anyone threatening the safety and welfare of a child, needs to go.

If college tuition is a concern, there are scholarships and Financial aid she can get through a FAFSA document. If she studies hard and scores well on her SAT, then she is eligible for a very fat scholarship called a "Merit Scholarship".

As for other financial issues. There are centers and hotlines for survivors of domestic abuse where they can give them support until they can stand on their own again.

Dad needs to go, there's no excuse.