[sukothefox]

I have moticed how I am not important to anyone. Just my parents, but i havent been important to anyone, important as in someone who is always thinking about me, or calling many times, or just really close. I have had a grilfriend in the past, and other 3, but now I am single, and i just dont think i will ever find someone that will be interested on me. I am uninteresting, and for some reason its hard for me to approach girls. Also it has to do that lately i have felt a little distrust for people. I have seen people controlling and lying to others, and that people always go with the jerks, and the cold people. I always see a vicious cycle of naive people like me sucking up to jerks, being rejected or mistreated, and turning in jerks as well. Then those transformed new jerks are like that with anoter naive amd good person, and so on.
I just dont think I will matter to anyone else but my parents. I am also shy and have a little bit of a hard time approaching others to talk, even others with my same interests. When i used to do, i would feel rejected, because they would be doing something else, or they already have their group of friends and dont care to meet new people.
I dont know, but i am afraid my destiny is to die forgotten and unknown to anyone. Nobody will give a ****.

[LovelaceF]

Originally Posted by sukothefox

Also it has to do that lately i have felt a little distrust for people. I have seen people controlling and lying to others

This is difficult for me too. I have to make a conscious decision to risk getting hurt, because it has happened so many times to me. I am always painfully aware that the opportunity for someone to betray me or hurt me is always there. However, one cannot have a successful relationship without trust.

[NoCake]

I think life is about putting yourself out there. You just have to be careful about how much you give and who you give it to. And when you do this you can't allow yourself to be lost in the uncertainty.

I remember that during some nights I would be so nervous about the things that I had done that it was hard to eat or sleep. I was so afraid that the things I said would be seen negatively that they just seemed to control my thoughts. It seemed like it wasn't enough that I could put myself out there - I had to be heard. Even when I had no reason to believe that I wouldn't be heard I still felt this way. But I know that this isn't right. All you can ever expect from yourself is that you had the heart to speak up. You can't control how people will take these things. All that you can control is how you deliver them. It's so hard for me to grasp this especially coming from a past where all I wanted was someone to relate to. But I do know that I do what I can and that's what's important.

I think it's important to just be yourself. A lot of people end up changing themselves for the very reasons I mentioned. It's a powerful thing to want to be accepted. But you have to be able to accept yourself and other people. Yes some people do hurt each other to gain popularity but that way is just wrong. Those people don't really care for each other. Those relationships are just a bunch of people pretending to care about one another. You don't want that. You want something real. You want relationships where everyone is accepting of everyone else. You won't get that being a jerk and I don't know how some people sleep at night doing things like that.

You're not worthless. You just haven't found the right person. But good people are out there. Trust me they are. And yes it's important to watch out for yourself but at the same time be sure that you don't close yourself off completely either. You can do this.

Don't dwell on this either. Sometimes it's good to spend some time away from these things and to come back later when you have a clear mind.