[ksipes01]

Hello,
not quite sure what to do here. This is my first time posting on something like this, but i need help. I have been married 25 years to my high school sweetheart. I do love him, but he is so so angry all time. He blows up, yells, and i am not sure what to do at this point. I grew up in a house where that did not happen, and now i am feeling afraid and stuck in a bad thing that is getting worse. We have had a lot of financial crisis events over the last 6 years, issues with our 4 children, deaths of friends/family which to me would cause us to join forces and unite to help conquer our grief, he on the other hand is full of anger and so much of it. I cannot talk to him about it he just gets more and more upset, and feels i am “getting on him” all the time, even though i think things out before i approach him i even tell him that i am not talking to him to hurt his feelings. I am scared that he will do something that he will regret. Since this is the first post i have made i wil end here and post more later. Thanks everyone for our comments

[ksipes01]

How can i go on living with a man that is so very angry all the time? Is it fair to me? Or our children? He is not happy, like he used to be. I did not marry the man he is today. Can this be fixed? It seems as if he is mirror image of his father, who is alone and angry without a family due to his anger and ruined relationships. I feel like my life is not able to move on and be happy be. I do not know what to do…..any advice. This is my first time posting, i am at my wits end. I will take any and all advice to heart, please help.

[shezbut]

Welcome to PC,

I would certainly recommend going into couple's counseling. If you are religious, you could talk with your priest or pastor (etc.) about options in working within that community. You could also go to a clinical counselor, for a different approach at getting back on each other's level again.

If your hub refuses to go to counseling or couple's help of any kind, then things become a little tougher. I would still advise you to go. Work on your communication abilities (it is a big skill!) as well as making wise decisions upon how you want your marriage to work out. Hopefully, your hub will be willing to seek help with you in hopes of repairing and maintaining your marriage.

Very best wishes to you!

[Leed]

Bless your heart ~ Your marriage sounds alot like my first one. He was angry, controlling and verbally and emotionally abusive. He wasn't like that the whole time we dated (3 years). But after we got married, it began for some reason. If you ask me, his parents had a lot to do with it, since they didn't like me.

I agree with Shezbut that you should ask him to go into marital counseling. This can help you learn how to communicate. He DOES need anger management too, but somehow I doubt he even THINKS he needs it. But anyway, at least you two could benefit from counseling. If he refuses to go, you'll at least know that he's not as committed to the relationship as you are. It would help YOU to get some counseling, so you could learn how to DEAL with him, and to help you decide if you want to stay in this relationship.

I decided I couldn't stand it anymore after 26 years. I got divorced. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself. He had ruined my self-esteem so I had to learn how to get it back, but that was ok - at least I wasn't living like that anymore.

I hope your hubby will go to counseling. And I wish YOU the very best! Please let us know what happens, ok? We do care about you. God bless and take care! Hugs, Lee