Something my H said

My husband has been acting distant lately. So I thought maybe it was due to stress... He's been very stressed with work plus we might be moving soon and we have a two year old that can occasionally be quite a handful.

Anyway last night he completely broke down, told me how stressed out and unhappy he has been... I kind of knew and could sense that, but as we got deeper in to conversation he told me that he has thought about leaving us for a little while from time to time... That he needs time to himself, he feels like he can't even enjoy little things bc of me(he's a musician at heart). I was take a back by this... I pretty much told him that as much as I love him I wouldn't hold him back but if he were to leave he was to understand it would be for good, and he could not come back to me in a few weeks when he was feeling better, marriage does not work that way. He promised me he wasn't going anywhere that he just needed to get it off his chest. I told him I would work on myself to make things easier for him(I rely on him for a lot. I have been very depressed lately and not helping out much around the house). I promised I would work at us... But he didn't say anything. He just kept staring At me with this look of pain in his eyes. I know he loves me... But I think he's starting to panic because when his mother was unhappy she took off for another man, his father was devastated and my H ended up having to pick up the pieces. I told him no matter how unhappy we are, if we love each other we can work on it.

So now it's the next day and I am in a panic... This conversation did not help my abandonment issues I have and I am terrified now I'm going to come home from work and he won't be here anymore. I'm trying so hard not to break down.

I have no one to turn to. No close friends I can talk to and I can't talk to my mother because she is impossible to have a conversation with.

((((( Bipolar mom ))))) It sounds to me like you both have a good honest relationship there as your husband was able to be open and frank. You had to be the strong one in that conversation so it is natural that you now feel anxious. But the fact that you have communication going is good, keep talking.

Hi ~ Your husband sounds like he's at the breaking point -- is there any chance he can see a therapist? He could use some therapy right now. His depression and anxiety is getting the best of him, and he's liable to make some decisions that are not the best for him OR his family!

If he talks to his doctor, his doc can refer him to a good therapist who can help him thru this battle he's in. I hope you'll urge him to do this. If money is an issue, his doc can put him on an antidepressant. That's better than nothing! His doc might even be able to give him samples of the antidepressants too, to save even more money.

So talk to him about it. He needs to do something. I'd hate to have him do something foolish, only to regret it later. I wish YOU the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Thanks for your responses. I came home from work and he was still here so that's good . things seem a little bit better today. I definitely think he is suffering from depression anxiety.. I will find a good time to discuss it with him. I am going to talk to my obgyn about an AD tomorrow to help alleviate my pmdd symptoms so maybe if I'm willing to do that he will be willing to try something as well.

I think it is a good idea for you to try and for him to follow suit. He will be more amenable this way.