[ForeverStar0]

recently i met this new person, Adrian..... i met him playing xbox... we started dating and he came to see me once for like an hour. cuz he lives in new york and i live in michigan. but when we dated i made a mistake after like a month and left him cuz i was scared to love...but then i started up dating another person... then me and that guy broke up and me and Adrian got back together gave me another chance i really didnt deserve.... he is the only one that has made me so happy in a long time... im so glad i met him... but then he left me buz of the distance... but we are like best friends and he knows how i feel.... and ive been trying to get him back for the longest now. yesterday i made a terrible mistake and let in some guy i didn't really like too much and i... made love to him. lost my virginity. i had finally gave up on him... and then when i told him.... apparently that was the day he said he would ask me out again.... as we are talking, both really upset... he tells me that he saved up enough money to come see me over summer. and had enough money so we could get a house together. and he said he would protect me in every way... and then i told him i wanted to be with him forever. and he said that when i turned 18 he was going to ask him to marry him. he already bought a ring and everything... with my birthstone and our names engraved in it. he sent me a pic. it was beautiful. i cant believe what ive done. cuz now he's really hurt.... but im doing all i can to somehow get him back or to even not hate me. i will do ANYTHING!!!!! but idk if it will work. i know i don't deserve another chance but i love this guy and i do wanna spend my life with him.... but idk what to do.... i know he's my soul mate... i know it.... but i just have to get him to realize that i really do love him with all my heart!!!! <3 he literally is the best thing to happen to me. and id give up anything to be with him.... i love him so much.... what should i do???? am i seriously the worst person in the world??? i feel like it...

I don't think you should beat yourself up because of this. Now I'm sure it was very complicated when he broke up with you (my relationships were when I was your age), but he did break up with you. And he did so knowing that means you can sleep with anyone you like. I get that you're very sad and sorry for what happened, but I don't think what you did was wrong. And I think if you let him know how sorry you are it will sort itself out eventually.

[hamster-bamster]

You are very seriously confused. You do not have any problems other than confusion.

So to answer the question "am i seriously the worst person in the world??? " - no. You are not in that league and you should not even try.

But do not get married at 18 - a marriage is a long-time deal and its dismantling is costly and complicated, so you should not rush into it.

Just enjoy life.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by ForeverStar0

i will do ANYTHING!!!!! but idk if it will work. i know i don't deserve another chance

I believe that if you calm down and are nice and loving towards Adrian, it will work. So you do not need to do ANYTHING. Calm/nice/loving should suffice.

Thinking in terms of deserving/undeserving is not helpful, usually, because real life does not always distribute benefits based on effort/conditional on behavior. Cf: When you are in school, provided that your professor is fair, you can study hard and get good grades that you deserve. But it does not always work this way outside of school... And, even in school, some people get good grades due to having a fast mind and a large memory capacity, without studying - do they deserve the grades or not?.. To make the long story short, you can simply drop your "deserve/do not deserve" line of thought without any bad consequences.