[MPD-AvPD-BPD]

My Personality disorder and Phobia's have always been personal to me, and I only truly opened up to one person about them before (a therapist that i was seeing for almost a year)..

This of course was only after the only person who truly understood me, (My brother) passed away tragically in 1996.. I was 'Formally' diagnosed with DID/MPD in 1997, and after some time with the therapist, she also identified AvPD (Avoidant) and BPD (Borderline), (hence the Nick). I too suffer with several phobia's, including Agoraphobia, Allodoxaphobia, Acrophobia, Telephonophobia, and all of this nicely wrapped up with SAD (Social Anxiety disorder)..

I'm also Dyslexic, and was diagnosed as such very early on, and had lot's of 'Special treatment' because of it.. I say special because at the time, my parents were busy divorcing, and i would often not see my Dad for years. My mother often worked long hours, and that left my brother and I in daycare's, etc for long periods... (therapist recons this a possible source for most of the Personality disorders)

I met my now wife while still in therapy, and quit the therapy (for some now unknown reason) when we started getting serious.

However i never let on about the Personality Disorders, only about the Dyslexia.. Any slips in my personality were normally put down to depression about the passing of my brother, or simply foul mood because of something or other. My wife believed that i was in therapy for depression, and I left it at that. A few years ago i let on that i was actually diagnosed with DID/MPD, but this was as far as it went. At the time her son (from a previous marriage) was giving us problems and when we finally got him proper treatment, he was diagnosed with Bipolar/Schizophrenia (Primarily drug induced). We've spent many a day at the hospital admissions every-time he had a relapse..

Recently I decided to reveal to my wife the full extent of my Personality disorders, I spent over a month researching, and writing an article (Blog link in my profile). it takes that long for me mostly due to the dyslexia. (so far it's an hour to write this much out). Unfortunately just as i posted it our son had another relapse.

Of course my 'Problems' were of minimal concern, and i'm just looking for attention.. We've now reached the point where I'm regretting letting the AvPD, and BPD out of the bag, and wish i hadn't.. During the last argument we had, my Panic attacks got so severe that now two days later i still feels like i've been punched in the chest.

However while researching Personality Disorders, I started looking at some of the traits that my wife displays, and am almost sure that she has NPD 'Narcissistic personality disorder', subtype 'Compensatory narcissist' with 'Passive-aggressive behavior'... which poses a problem, as this is almost on the opposite side of the spectrum to me. then again it's always been said how the two of us were like Yin & Yang, opposites, and perfect for each other.. however in this case i think they may be opposing and not complimentary as Yin-Yang is about.

Having started down this road, i'd like to see it to the end, Because i know that if i drop it now, i may never build up the courage to try it again...

I've already resorted to putting things in writing (as per the Blog) so that i need not fear a confrontation, and bypass the issue of things being about her, and her problems. However how do i now proceed with the confrontation and actually talk to her about this...

[Leed]

Boy, that's a rough one. I really don't know for sure.

Could you say something like "I've noticed that you aren't feeling well -- is there something you'd like to talk about?" I know there is something bothering you -- do you feel you can open up to me and discuss it?"

Do you think that would get her talking? Perhaps she doesn't even FEEL any different. I don't know. Perhaps she's felt this way for so long, that she doesn't notice that she feels awful. And anyone with that disorder WOULD feel awful -- but she probably doesn't know it. But then again she might. So perhaps she'll say something or talk about it. Who knows?

Are you two open and honest with each other, or do you both keep things to yourselves? Do you communicate?

I think you know what/when you can talk to her and what you SHOULD say. You're the only one who knows her. I'd just suggest picking a time when she's not extremely stressed out or overly anxious. (if there IS a time like that.)

I wish you the best! Take care and let us know what happens. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[MPD-AvPD-BPD]

Originally Posted by Leed

Boy, that's a rough one. I really don't know for sure.

Could you say something like "I've noticed that you aren't feeling well -- is there something you'd like to talk about?" I know there is something bothering you -- do you feel you can open up to me and discuss it?"

Hmm ... that the main problem.. Once we open communication it's all about her, every time i sit for 30 min to 1 hour listening to her.. I barely get a word in.

Today we sent a few mails back and forth because putting it in writing is about the best way to get my words in...

Last mail i got back from her cut me off with "I really am not taking much in right now, I am cracking and not comprehending anything right now."

[MPD-AvPD-BPD]

Well a few day's later and while we have had several talks, the subject of my 'mental health' has not been brought up. All she did is say that perhaps i should start 'logging' what i remember of my childhood, so that when we go to the psychiatrist, we got most of it already on paper...

Right now she's not interested is listening, but thinks i need 'fixing'