[GirlOfManyFaces]

I dated this guy from 3rd grade til 6th grade. It really wasn't anything. We held hands and that's pretty much it. But we were BEST friends. It was just a childish relationship. Too young to matter.he moved away and I didn't see him again until this previous Christmas break. He just happened to be in the same place I was for vacation. And we hung out. Bit now that we are in highschool he still is in LOVE with me. He won't stop telling me hope much he loves me and hope I am more important than air. I like him too but I really don't want to date. Even if it is long distance.

Nevertheless we are dating now and I feel like it is a mistake. I'm scared. I don't trust men. And I can't be close to them. So long distance is the only way. But when I say I love him it feels wrong like I should be saying it to someone else.

I have had difficulties in the not to distant past about my sexuality. I decided labels are useless and I love who I love. But I am still in LOOOOOVE with this girl from my old school. And can't get over her. S this is making it hard for me.

My boyfriend now that I previously mentioned doesn't know anything about my past. Not the R*pe. Not the sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. Not the cutting or suicide attempts. Nothing. So I am afraid he will find out and I don't
I,e that he doesn't know me...

PLEASE HELP!!

[spondiferous]

Sounds like there's a lot going on. I guess I have two questions for you to consider:

1.) Are you still really good friends with this guy? And is this relationship the best way for you to spend your energy, feelings, time, etc? I just kind of feel like, even though it may be hard, you might want to consider being honest about your feelings for him, even though it will be difficult. ESPECIALLY since you have feelings for someone else.

2.) You mentioned that the girl you love went to your old school. Is it in the same town/city? Is there any way to continue pursuing that relationshipa? It sounds to me like it's worth exploring. On the other hand, if for whatever reason you are unable to pursue it (whether or not it's an issue of distance), perhaps what you may need is some time to heal from your loss and resolve your feelings.

Again, these are merely things to think about, things that came to my mind while reading your post. Regardless of what happens and what course of action you choose, I wish you the best.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by spondiferous

Sounds like there's a lot going on. I guess I have two questions for you to consider:

1.) Are you still really good friends with this guy? And is this relationship the best way for you to spend your energy, feelings, time, etc? I just kind of feel like, even though it may be hard, you might want to consider being honest about your feelings for him, even though it will be difficult. ESPECIALLY since you have feelings for someone else.

2.) You mentioned that the girl you love went to your old school. Is it in the same town/city? Is there any way to continue pursuing that relationshipa? It sounds to me like it's worth exploring. On the other hand, if for whatever reason you are unable to pursue it (whether or not it's an issue of distance), perhaps what you may need is some time to heal from your loss and resolve your feelings.

Again, these are merely things to think about, things that came to my mind while reading your post. Regardless of what happens and what course of action you choose, I wish you the best.

1) I'm friends with him. But I feel like it's wrong. I'm a very loving person so it doesn't take long for me to like someone. But I know when it's a like, a love, or a falling in love feeling. And I don't feel anything for my Guy Friend. He is just a good friend that lives 3.5 hrs away. I will never really get to see him. And I don't know how to tell him I can't do this. He is fragile and very much in love with me. I just can't shatter him...

2) she lives 20 mins away. Which isn't far at all. We live in the same area. So I could see her if I had the time. But since I moved schools I don't have time to visit her. We were never officially in a relationship. But we we very close and would die for each other. We had a little thing for two years. So I miss her SO VERY MUCH. she held my hand thought everything. Even rape.

I apologize if I got off topic or if this doesn't make sense. But I thank you for your comment.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by GirlOfManyFaces

He is just a good friend that lives 3.5 hrs away. I will never really get to see him. And I don't know how to tell him I can't do this. He is fragile and very much in love with me. I just can't shatter him...

All of that is very nice of you. Very kind.

However, since you are bound to shatter him at some point because you are very clear on the absence of any feeling for him, prolonging it does not make sense, and giving him false hopes will only make his future suffering worse.

So out of loving kindness towards him I would try to find some gentle ways to tell him the truth and then let him decide whether he wants your friendship without any hopes of dating.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by GirlOfManyFaces

Nevertheless we are dating now and I feel like it is a mistake. I'm scared. I don't trust men. And I can't be close to them. So long distance is the only way. But when I say I love him it feels wrong like I should be saying it to someone else.

Do not say things you do not feel. If he is perceptive, he will sense the lack of sincerity in your utterances anyway. So no point.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by GirlOfManyFaces

He won't stop telling me ... I am more important than air.

That part by itself is good. I do not see any problem for you in being more important than air to him. In and of itself, it is all good.