verbal abuse

centennial1952 · Mar 20, 2013 at 05:09 PM

i have a boyfriend, he is 63 and i an 60, he flys off in extreme temper ovet something i say accidently do such as not washing a dish before putting in the sink . he then calls me a ****, psycho or an idiot . he then later apologises and says he loves. also at times dayd get out of my life and go find some one else. what do i do about dr. jeckle, mr hyde behavior and what is likely etiology?

Mar 20, 2013 at 07:02 PM

Has he always done this? How long have you known each other?

hamster-bamster · Mar 20, 2013 at 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by centennial1952

i have a boyfriend, he is 63 and i an 60, he flys off in extreme temper ovet something i say accidently do such as not washing a dish before putting in the sink . he then calls me a ****, psycho or an idiot . he then later apologises and says he loves. also at times dayd get out of my life and go find some one else. what do i do about dr. jeckle, mr hyde behavior and what is likely etiology?

I think that the inquiry into and hypothesizing about etiology are useless, because he is too old to change.

Mar 20, 2013 at 07:17 PM

The reason I ask is that having witnessed two people suffer from alzheimers, as the early stage signs can be personality changes, and anger that was previously uncharacteristic can be a sign. Alzheimers can take many years to develop (even up to 10 years and beyond) so he may not have any other signs yet.

Other than that, has he been stressed over something to explain his abusive language? Explain, but not rationalise or forgive him for - he has no excuse but there may be something to solve. If he's always been horrible to you, and short tempered then you're with an abuser and unless he see's the errors of his ways, or tries to get help, then there may be little you can do - and only you can decide what to do with that am afraid.

Hugs.

hamster-bamster · Mar 20, 2013 at 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riotgrrrl

The reason I ask is that having witnessed two people suffer from alzheimers, as the early stage signs can be personality changes, and anger that was previously uncharacteristic can be a sign. Alzheimers can take many years to develop (even up to 10 years and beyond) so he may not have any other signs yet.

I see. But then it will only get worse, due to the natural progression of the disease - I mean, in terms of behavior?

Mar 20, 2013 at 07:26 PM

Yes it can, very much so. But the anger can also get better. The case with my grandma who lived with us was she just forgot how to be horrible and angry, she actually became very sweet, the sweetest she was in the whole of her life for a period until the disease took hold too badly. Its a strange disease and nothing is textbook for each person. Its also one of the worst diseases I think and robs people of so much - the sufferer and their families alike.

hamster-bamster · Mar 20, 2013 at 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riotgrrrl

Yes it can, very much so. But the anger can also get better. The case with my grandma who lived with us was she just forgot how to be horrible and angry, she actually became very sweet, the sweetest she was in the whole of her life for a period until the disease took hold too badly. Its a strange disease and nothing is textbook for each person. Its also one of the worst diseases I think and robs people of so much - the sufferer and their families alike.

I am very much afraid of it because both my grandmas had it at the end of their lives.

I drink wine and take baby Aspirin to prevent it. I should also exercise but I do not...

OP, if that is the case, at least start him on baby Aspirin that has other benefits as well. And take it yourself.

"• Aspirin (ASA): 81 mg per day (1 baby aspirin): Aspirin deserves special mention because it may reduce your risk of developing Alzheimer's by as much as 55 percent. It also has a unique blood-thinning ability, which helps to prevent stroke and heart attacks."
Alzheimer's Research & Prevention Foundation

Mar 20, 2013 at 07:37 PM

Yes, it tends to run in families, sadly and anything is worth trying. Make sure you eat with it tho, otherwise a tummy ulcer (like I had through asprin) means you can't take it again.
Anyway, I feel like I've hijacked this thread, apologies.

hamster-bamster · Mar 20, 2013 at 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riotgrrrl

Yes, it tends to run in families, sadly and anything is worth trying. Make sure you eat with it tho, otherwise a tummy ulcer (like I had through asprin) means you can't take it again.
Anyway, I feel like I've hijacked this thread, apologies.

No you have not because I see how at his age your hypothesis might be very true and I totally missed it.

So let us wait and hear whether this is a new behavior.

I will eat with Aspirin. Did not know that, thank you,

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anonymous82113 Guest Posts: n/a	Mar 20, 2013 at 07:02 PM #2 Has he always done this? How long have you known each other?
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anonymous82113 Guest Posts: n/a	Mar 20, 2013 at 07:37 PM #8 Yes, it tends to run in families, sadly and anything is worth trying. Make sure you eat with it tho, otherwise a tummy ulcer (like I had through asprin) means you can't take it again. Anyway, I feel like I've hijacked this thread, apologies.
	Reply With Quote