[bellywelly]

Hi everyone
I am a 48 female, I was married for 22 years, split 18months ago and 6 months ago started a new relationship. He smokes pot dawn until dusk. Also takes other recreational drugs on the weekend. Anyway long story short I lost it a bit the other night when I found out he was out again on the drugs. Asked him to tone it down, but no his social life comes before anything, so have split. However when I delved deeper he told he hasn't been in love with anyone (including me) since his wife and he separated. He has had quite a few trauma in his life, deaths of those close to him, so he is not what you would call undamaged. I am having a hard time letting this go, feeling very sad, unloved, useless. This is probably my 4th serious relationship in my life and the first new one in 22 years. But I feel I am acting like a teenager whose heart got broken. We both use social media and have the same friends so of course the name keeps coming up. I know I should block him unfriend him but don't want to take that step. I also have an anxiety/panic disorder which is treated with Cymbalta. Feel like I am going nowhere in my life, the split after the marriage wasn't this bad a feeling. Not happy at all. Am going to get old alone, just want someone to accept me as me

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by bellywelly

1) Anyway long story short I lost it a bit the other night when I found out he was out again on the drugs. Asked him to tone it down, but no his social life comes before anything, so have split.

2) Am going to get old alone, just want someone to accept me as me

See, he may believe that the drugs are part of him and he may want you to accept him as him JUST as you want to be accepted as you, without any requests for any sort of personal change (be it toning down drugs, getting a gym membership, or anything that is generally considered beneficial).

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by bellywelly

I am a 48 female, I was married for 22 years, split 18months ago and 6 months ago started a new relationship.

This is probably my 4th serious relationship in my life and the first new one in 22 years. But I feel I am acting like a teenager whose heart got broken.

I think it is good news. It means that you are able to have feelings. The matter of finding the right guy is not unimportant, but it is SECONDARY - the PRIMARY thing is for you to be able to feel your feelings, form attachments, feel that your heart got broken, etc. It does of course hurt A LOT, but feeling the hurt so strongly speaks to your fine emotional status.

I hope that this take on things can help you feel a slight bit better.