[Unsure27]

Hello, I am pulling my hair out trying to understand what I am supposed to do with my relationship with my bf. we are both late twenties have been together for about 18months. He has recently been diagnosed with aspergers and I have only just discovered I may be codependant. This is due to a childhood if emotional and physical anise from a violent father. (This is a very mild version of how much more was wrong but that's for another thread!) we have broken up many times after fits of rage from my aspie bf, which admittedly has been caused by my constant pushing for reassurance after I found out he cheated on me. It wasn't a full cheat as in full sex, but a cheat is still a cheat, he has repeatedly told me he went to see her to 'help' her as she was in a bad state (his ex gf) and she literally jumped him and ended up trying to ... And did.. But 'only for like 5 seconds' as he says.
I'm not sure if I am only displaying codependant symptoms now because of living with my aspie partner, who also has a strong passive aggressive streak, or if its just the situation has amplified to me what was underlying in me before we even met.
I am so lost in this mess, I don't know which bits are his condition and his pa, and which is me or might be me. I have outbursts of feeling total neglect from him, we fall out break up then I end up coming back to him. Or sometimes vice versa.
I know it's not something he can help with his aspie ways, and I accept that fully, but I don't accept the passive agressive traits as I believe they can be healed. I do think I am codependant as it applies to many parts of my life now I learn about it not only this relationship.
This all needs to be ironed out before we can even touch on clearing up the infidelity that has happened.
Sorry it's a bit long but felt more info would be more useful.

[Travelinglady]

I think I answered this question in another forum. Is that possible?