Being a friend and honest

Let's say Anthony here is so honest.

Of course, friendship means to save your friend in darkest hour or so.

So what if Anthony's friend, Louis, cheated on a test and Anthony gets anxious if he's (Anthony) going to report his friend, Louis.

Of course, if Anthony's going to report his friend, chance is Louis gonna have bad feelings to Anthony and felt betrayed and therefore don't want to make friend with him anymore.

Any suggestions? Thanks!

This is a hard one. The fact that Louis cheated on the test makes it unfair to the rest of the class. BUT -- is it really any of your business? And how did you find out? Did Louis tell you?

Anthony, I applaud your honesty, I really do. And I would be tempted to tell on him too, because like I said -- when Louis cheats, it's unfair to everyone in the class.

But it's not up to you to play judge. If Louis is normally not a good student, and the teacher sees that he aces the test, I'm sure he/she is going to figure it out himself/herself. Cheats usually don't get away with it. I say leave it alone. I might be wrong -- but friends are hard to come by, although I'm not sure I'd want a cheater for a friend. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

I know some schools have an honor code, where students are supposed to report violations. That said, I'm tempted to suggest you consider telling your friend you noticed the cheating, but not report it "this time." Will the friend find out who reported the cheating? If not, then to allay your conscience (and you are obviously a very moral person ), then you should report the incident.

I admire you Anthony for finding a place like this to seek some advice. It's tough when you are put into a situation like that. I think Leed made a good point about whether a cheater is good friend material: I think you would be better off alone for a while than to have a friend like that.

Some years ago I took a class taught by a terrible professor: we could never get a clear answer from the man. The WHOLE class resorted to cheating. I dropped the class and never reported it. I live with it but will always regret never speaking to the dean about the problem.

When my sister was in college, a pair of students broke school rules: they were in love and living together in a dorm. It was common knowledge, but blatently flauted the conservative school's code of conduct. An acquaintance reported their living arrangements to the dean. The young couple were punished, but the young man who reported them was also punished: his fellow students went out of their way to ignore him, snub him, and otherwise ostracize him. He graduated but was friendless.

Your friend "Louis" has not done himself or his classmates any favors by cheating. He's misrepresenting himself while degrading the value of the work done by his classmates. You can make more friends who better reflect the person you are and want to be. It's a difficult decision, but if I had it to do over again, I would not hesitate to report the students who were cheating.

How is the class graded? On a curve or not?

If the class is graded on a curve, then Louis' cheating IS unfair to the rest of the class. Proceed with Leed's advice in this case.

If the class is not graded on a curve, then Louis' cheating is NOT unfair to the rest of the class. He did obtain an unfair advantage for himself, but he did not harm others in the course of obtaining an unfair advantage for himself. So, I would relax.

In the case of:

"When my sister was in college, a pair of students broke school rules: they were in love and living together in a dorm. It was common knowledge, but blatantly flaunted the conservative school's code of conduct. An acquaintance reported their living arrangements to the dean. The young couple were punished, but the young man who reported them was also punished: his fellow students went out of their way to ignore him, snub him, and otherwise ostracize him. He graduated but was friendless. "

The living arrangement of the young couple in love only violated some formal and probably meaningless code of conduct. Their living arrangement did not harm anybody. It is one thing to report a bully who is making life miserable for a weaker, smaller victim and a completely different thing to use the formal code violation as a way to make life difficult for people who are completely harmless. And ... students KNOW that. Students would not ALL "go out of their way to ignore ... snub ... and otherwise ostracize" someone who reports a bully. SOME people would, out of fear of the bully. OTHERS would appreciate the courage that it took the reporter to report the bully. So some people would react this way and other people would react that way. That everybody reacted the way they did in the case of reporting the formal code violation on the part of a harmless couple was to be expected.