[Gloom]

Some of you are familiar with my situation. For those who aren't, I recently lost my best friend and lover. We had a relationship of one year and one month that ended last February.

One month after the break up, my ex tries to contact me again and decides to talk to a friend of mine in order to get her help. This friend of mine works at a shop near our (now his) apartment. They wouldn't normally talk to each other, they'd only say hi occasionally.

So they talked and she helped us get back together. You can also read about how that ended, it's at the end of the post I linked above.

So now I found out that they're "friends". They talk about me and he goes on her blog to write crap and make jokes about me. I saw some of their comments on Facebook because they met up at a gig last Friday and apparently got wasted together.

I talked to her and asked her what's going on. She said that she's friends with both of us and that I should learn to separate things and deal with it because she can't see what she's doing wrong. I explained that I feel betrayed, as if the pain I'm going through for losing my love and finding out he's not the same person anymore wasn't enough. I told her that she's not supposed to be friends with my ex especially after he let me down so terribly. She isn't supposed to go out with him and get wasted with him. Whenever he tells her crap about me, she should have my back and be on my side.

I know she's dating someone and my ex and her aren't involved, but this is still too much for me to handle.
She recently lost one of her best friends of years because this girl started being friends with her ex and she found out they were both talking **** behing her back. And now she does this.

I'm scared to talk to any of his friends that I'm close with because they're HIS friends and I respect that. Whatever I tell them can be taken in the wrong way and he will probably know about it.
How can I trust my own friend when she's now his friend too? How can I trust her and how can I deal with this? Am I the only one thinking that she has a wrong concept for what a friendship should be?
It's taken me years to be able to call her a friend and consider myself a friend of her, and in less than one month, out of the blue, they start talking and are now friends, go out together and joke about stuff. She cannot understand how much she's hurting me, and he's doing this because he knows it will upset me. He's doing his best to provoke me.

He leaves me, comes back making promises and leaves me again, this time in a really immature and irresponsible way. As if that wasn't enough, I'm now also losing my friend to HIM.

[tnt4lyfe72]

Originally Posted by Gloom

Some of you are familiar with my situation. For those who aren't, I recently lost my best friend and lover. We had a relationship of one year and one month that ended last February.

One month after the break up, my ex tries to contact me again and decides to talk to a friend of mine in order to get her help. This friend of mine works at a shop near our (now his) apartment. They wouldn't normally talk to each other, they'd only say hi occasionally.

So they talked and she helped us get back together. You can also read about how that ended, it's at the end of the post I linked above.

So now I found out that they're "friends". They talk about me and he goes on her blog to write crap and make jokes about me. I saw some of their comments on Facebook because they met up at a gig last Friday and apparently got wasted together.

I talked to her and asked her what's going on. She said that she's friends with both of us and that I should learn to separate things and deal with it because she can't see what she's doing wrong. I explained that I feel betrayed, as if the pain I'm going through for losing my love and finding out he's not the same person anymore wasn't enough. I told her that she's not supposed to be friends with my ex especially after he let me down so terribly. She isn't supposed to go out with him and get wasted with him. Whenever he tells her crap about me, she should have my back and be on my side.

I know she's dating someone and my ex and her aren't involved, but this is still too much for me to handle.
She recently lost one of her best friends of years because this girl started being friends with her ex and she found out they were both talking **** behing her back. And now she does this.

I'm scared to talk to any of his friends that I'm close with because they're HIS friends and I respect that. Whatever I tell them can be taken in the wrong way and he will probably know about it.
How can I trust my own friend when she's now his friend too? How can I trust her and how can I deal with this? Am I the only one thinking that she has a wrong concept for what a friendship should be?
It's taken me years to be able to call her a friend and consider myself a friend of her, and in less than one month, out of the blue, they start talking and are now friends, go out together and joke about stuff. She cannot understand how much she's hurting me, and he's doing this because he knows it will upset me. He's doing his best to provoke me.

He leaves me, comes back making promises and leaves me again, this time in a really immature and irresponsible way. As if that wasn't enough, I'm now also losing my friend to HIM.

Wow sry hun.just had this same prob! He kicked me out and moved her in!!they fell in love over the phone in 3 weeks.she was supposed to be one of my best friends!they were practically strangers.i knew her b4 him.he only met her 2 times b4 this.when i would talk to her about how he abused me she said i have to get away.now shes with him!!!I dont get it.ne way im healing w time.they dont deserve me and they dont deserve you!!ur way better than that1 EFF them!!!!stay strong u'll get thru i promise.knew her 5 yrs and him 4 1/2 yrs.she was actually in another state he moved her here from PA.they are together for selfish reasons and i believe will self distruct,ne way mean people suck!!

[avlady]

Yes they are selfish, and wht in the world would they would still think you wanted to be your friend? I say stay away from both of them, they've obviously betrayed you. I know it is painful, but you should try your best to stay away from them.

[Leed]

Since your "best" friend just went thru this herself, I don't understand how she could possible do this to you!! Can't she SEE what she's doing? Can't she SEE that it's the same scenario that SHE just went thru? Is she totally blind??

She has to be either the most IGNORANT person, or else she just plain doesn't care. But either way, stay away from her because she's toxic. She isn't good for your mental health, and neither is your ex. They both are selfish & immature.

Best of luck, and I hope you find a new friend, and a new relationship! Make sure you get to know them VERY well, and that they can be trusted with your life! God bless you & take care. Hugs, Lee