Where does the strength to leave stem from, and how do I get it?

I'm going to leave my husband. It's time for me to go. I'm unhappy and have been for years. I'm tired of his control, games, abuse, and selfishness. His abuse is not only towards me now, he's starting to be cruel to my babies as well. Yesterday he did nothing but yell and cuss at them, for crying.

It's the last straw, I'm now willing to leave and sacrifice some things. I want to take my babies, get a job, continue going to school, get some public assistance, and be on my own in my own place. That's what I want, and I'm ready. Of course I'm terrified to be alone, I'm also afraid that he will ditch the kids, but I have to leave or I will die unhappy. Life is to short for me to waste away in this condition. I want better for my babies too.

Please help me, tell me where I should begin, what I should do. I'm really going to do it. I'm expecting my student loan soon, and that's when I'm going to break for it.

I'm so scared, and hurt, but this change and chance is going to be the beginning of my new free life. I'll no longer feel scared to make him made, and I'll no longer feel for repercussions because I'm me, Desirae. I'm ready to grow up extra tall now, and be a successful, single mother. I need a friend.

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His abuse is not only towards me now, he's starting to be cruel to my babies as well.

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Des, I think your answer is right there. If you can't find the strength for yourself, find it for your kids.

I think wi is right. and your need to get out of a bad situation. your strength will come from being sick and tired of the abuse.

desirae.... you seem like a very level headed woman.... you love your babies.... sometimes as moms or parents for that matter we have to put aside what we want in life to give the best we can for our kids.... i know leaving him will be hard. it will be sad.. but if he is abusive you cant risk him hurting those two babies.. i am not trying to say that he will but there is always that possibility..... it is understandable that you love him. it is understandable that you want to go but you want to stay.. but you have to think about those little munchkins.... the strength will come... and when you think that you cant go on, you will be able to go further than you thought....
You can do it! i have faith in you!! (((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Have you ever heard the saying "you are more than you realize?" There is truth in that because we all image ourselves as so much smaller than we really are. When all is said and done, you will be amazed at how strong you really are. You mentioned 'alone' but you are more alone now than if you break free.

I knew it was the end when my ex started after the kids like you mentioned. What I couldn't do for myself, I could do for the kids. Do not underestimate the strength of a mother.

My kids are thriving and even with real hard financial times, we have never been happier. It feels so wonderful to come home to your own little place and there is no enemies in the midst. Just peace.

Please consider talking to a counselor. Counselors have resources and the training to help you and your kids through this situation. ((((((((huggs)))))))))

"How I left my abuser" -- from Dr. Irene's web site