[JJLP]

I was advised to post this in the relationships section, looking for some advice.

For the past 16 years my mother (divorced) has been having a secret life with a married man. 6 years ago I found out and this was taken as an opportunity for my mum to use my as her 'get out of jail card'. Before I knew what was happening I was lying, keeping secrets and doing as she asked. I tried to keep this man at a distance but he became so involved that now he is like a father figure. I am 22 and this has consumed me for too long. I feel so much guilt and betrayal. It follows me where ever I go because I keep lying for her and keeping the secret. Recently there have been signs that my family have known about it all these years. Suddenly I feel betrayed by them. I've been through so much anxiety and stress trying to hide it from them and feeling guilty for it. I don't know how to talk to people about it because I've been told not to for so many years. But I need some change in my life now, I need this not to consume me in stress and anxiety like it is. It is getting worse and I am going home for a month soon and I really don't know how I will cope. Any advice would be great.

[DePressMe]

JJLP, sounds like you are in a difficult spot. It must be hard since it started so long ago when you were young. As for advice...I don't know...could you talk with your mom about wanting to be honest about it? I wish I could help you but I'm at a lost. Seems like nobody wins when there is an affair going on--esp. the kids.....D.