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Member
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Never Never Land
Posts: 243
11 96 hugs
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May 18, 2013 at 01:32 AM
#1
I wish so much that I had someone kind living here with me who was willing to commit to a relationship.
Sometimes the loneliness affects me so much that I feel that reality is frightening. It makes me crave comfort, but I'm not sure how to really be able to manage this in a self-sufficient way that doesn't depend on others. |
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 Anonymous33170, BonnieG2010, CloudyDay99, hamster-bamster, Leed, rainboots87, Sometimes psychotic
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Account Suspended
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: in a nightmare
Posts: 888
12 1,137 hugs
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May 18, 2013 at 11:31 AM
#2
I am lonely too. The way I cope is to escape. I daydream about another life where I am loved and accepted. It's either that or turn on the TV - LOL. Either way it's a form of escape or distraction for me. I hope that one day things will turn around for you. I feel like a lost cause just going through the motions of life.
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| BonnieG2010, roseblossom
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 roseblossom
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Member
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: Wouldn't you like to know
Posts: 84
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May 18, 2013 at 11:36 AM
#3
Totally understand what both of you are saying....I try to distract myself as much as possible but at night....well it's tough.
__________________ “What we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also .” - Gaius Julius Caesar Proverbs 17:28 (NLT) - Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. |
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| roseblossom
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roseblossom
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Member
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Never Never Land
Posts: 243
11 96 hugs
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May 18, 2013 at 12:43 PM
#4
I just wanted to say thank you to those that gave hugs and those that replied - it does mean a lot.
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Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: italy
Posts: 173
11 136 hugs
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May 19, 2013 at 06:04 AM
#5
If you do not have a fulfilling relationship in your life, you can have lots of fulfilling friendships in your life.
Do you have that or are you thinking / dreaming that only a life companion can fill your emptiness? I thought so too for a long time. Then I saw happily coupled people falling into depressions and experiencing different kinds of troubles. That's where I learnt that there is not ONE thing in our lives that makes us real happy, because we are many things and we do need many things to make us happy. When I was thinking that a life companion will be the answer to all my questions I was wrong: I also need a job that I like, enough friends, free time for my hobbies, money to spend on things I like. If i couldn't have all this and had just a life partner.... I honestly don't think I will be real happy. Please, do not think 'magic'! Do not think that just one thing will save your life. You are the only one who can save your life, putting in all that you need 
__________________  love is all around
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| anonymous82113
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rainboots87, roseblossom
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
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May 19, 2013 at 07:26 AM
#6
I didn't find my companion until I was 35. As Bonnie says, we have to go towards it and make it happen, it is not going to come to us. I spent a lot of my life fantasizing instead of being out there developing myself and learning what I needed to learn to be able to be a partner in a relationship. Fortunately therapy was helping me without my quite realizing how.
My girlfriend from high school just decided one day she wanted a relationship and was ready and went out and joined things and met people and put herself out there and actually met her husband at a square dance! I can't imagine (she was a physical education teacher and he's an engineer). But I finally realized that day dreaming was not getting me anything. __________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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roseblossom
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Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: angola ny
Posts: 9,794
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May 19, 2013 at 09:37 AM
#7
loneliness is a sad thing to live with, i know firsthand. i now do have a husband and son,but even though, i am still lonely. i live on a dead end street, the neighbors are into their own lives, i don't even know they are there unless we drive by their houses and someone is out. i am disabled so i can't work, i really wish i could, but my condition is terrible, i have a really hard time when my husband and son are not home.
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| roseblossom
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Member
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Never Never Land
Posts: 243
11 96 hugs
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May 19, 2013 at 12:11 PM
#8
Quote:
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| BonnieG2010
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May 19, 2013 at 03:50 PM
#9
I am with Bonnie's way of thinking. One person does not make everything wonderful. And even if they are great, they bring with them their own set of problems too! Not one person can make another happy 100%, nor long term. Quite right too.
I really think the answer is to be happy in your own skin. Keeping busy, having great friends, things that you are passionate about too. I was happily single for years. I worked long hours, and enjoyed my time off with friends, going to gigs or whatever. I have quite happily gone to a music concert or a cinema on my own too if friends couldn't make it. I think enjoying your own company helps too. How do you become self-sufficient way that doesn't depend on others? I am not sure. But having some confidence, some friends and making yourself get up and do things sure does help. Tentative steps to push yourself out of your comfort zone and before you know it, things get better. Hugs. |
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| BonnieG2010
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roseblossom
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Member Since Apr 2013
Posts: 5
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May 23, 2013 at 05:50 AM
#10
I feel the same way. I've been divorced for 12 years and I've had a few long term relationships with guys who didn't want to commit. I'm 47 now and I feel so desperate to find somebody. It's making me feel so depressed and I hate feeling like this. I have a great job, a wonderful and loving 15 year old son and I exercise and keep myself fit. I don't really have any good girlfriends and I'd like to go out and meet some people but because I'm so depressed about not having a guy, I turn off alot of women because I'm a downer.
How can I just quit feeling so sorry for myself, get some confidence and be happy? I'd give anything to take a magic pill and just feel good about myself. |
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| hamster-bamster, roseblossom
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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