[lovingfather]

I am a male who is in his forties, I have one child who is kindergarten aged and a marriage of near 15 years.
I am seeing a counselor at a psychology clinic on how to extract myself and my child from an abusive situation at the hands of my wife.

It is not easy and they have agreed, my wife has put forth a damaging and dangerous situation.

She has done all kinds of things to play mental cruelty on me, it has gotten so bad I have had to document and audio record her because she will say things and then deny them.

One of the most heartbreaking and disturbing things she has done (I have a secret audio confession of her saying it is no big deal, and I should GROW up!) - She has had a facebook account since it launched years ago, gaining more than 500 friends I believe. I added one last year for I could keep in touch with less than a dozen work friends since my health was dwindling and I was missing alot of work. She accused me of having an affair because she saw a pretty woman on my facebook who was pregnant sitting two space to the left of me at a work luncheon. It was such a mess that I cancelled my facebook account immediately(at least I thought). Long story short - she reactivated my facebook and had been observing the people I worked with. I was on short term leave at that point from work due to a fall that severely injured me leaving me with being at home taking care of my child. She left one weekend to spend some time with her family who live three hours away. I went to a restaurant and approached my best friend and he totally ignored me, I had returned to work a few weeks later and no one was talking with me, only one person had the sense to ask me about why I was off so long. He told me that everyone thinks I am a bad person for posting pictures of my son dressed up in girls clothing and nude shots of him, they were shared and tagged and sent to all of the friends I worked with. I got back into my account and saw them and the horror was so shocking, every friend de-friended me (no big deal). I took a voice recorder and confronted my wife and she admitted to the identity theft and admitted to posting those pics while she was at her parents and sisters house when she was away that weekend. She told me I should GROW UP, a grown man doesn't need friends! All this was said and recorded. My attorney had me delete images, change username, password, and email, then deactivate account.
The attorney turned out to be very inconsistent and let my divorce spiral into disarray - He told me that there was a great chance that my son would not be given to me due to my becoming disabled and for being the one who walked out of the marriage to go live with my sibling. He no longer wanted to push the unfit mother angle, nor the mental child abuse, he wanted me to agree to shared parenting but with the mother retaining residential rights which would include me paying my sons insurance. I stopped the divorce because my childs mother became severely ill and had to be hospitalized for a few weeks, none of her family would make the trip to help her and her friends only supported her with phone calls, just prior to the hospital her abuse of child started again, so I nursed her back to health and she is 100% and she agreed to get psychiatric treatment weekly. She said she was doing this but I found out she hadn't went to a single appointment. The mental abuse got worse and physical abuse followed, my current doctor is laying out a plan for me and I can only hope this extraction goes my way and it somehow forces her to seek deep treatment. There is so much more ...

[Travelinglady]

Oh, my, I agree. Your wife is a mess. I do hope she will seek treatment for her obvious issues.

Please let us know how things go.

[lovingfather]

Every night she asks him to spell the name of the person he loves the most and give her a hug, then she looks at me and glares vindictively.
She tells him I don't love him and that is why we were apart last year, although she only had him 20 hours a week voluntarily during that span.

My son comes to me and addresses these issues, he is afraid that I won't be around. I don't want him to not have access to his mom but if I'm not there I need to have her time with him supervised.

[lovingfather]

Can I play audio confessions of child abuse to CPS?

1. During recording she throws heavy purse at my son, which is opened, a myriad of loose pills she doesn't have Rxs for sprawl all over the carpet. I informed her that it was immature and she needs to help clean them up. She refuses and says my son's safety is all on me and that her responsibility ended at his birth.

2. Calls my son racist terms and slurrs.

3. Admits to doing the photos at her families house while away.

4. Desecrates memory of my recently passed mother to my child.

5. Keeps scrapbooks on display of her first marriage which has hundreds of pics of her ex shirtless and posing. She has added new chapters from his facebook page as well.

6. Threatens to slap our childs face again and do it harder next time.

[winter4me]

I would certainly ask to do this. Do find a lawyer who will be there for you, you will need that, and don't back down on the abuse issue...
My heart goes out to you and your son. Let him know you love him and will be there,
Have you considered having your son seen by a child psych? He may be able to express how he is feeling with this storm raging around him...and about the things that have been done to him.

[lovingfather]

I did take my son to a child counselor where I go, they are mostly a holistic practice. He is nearly five and has alot of distraction.

[hamster-bamster]

You need a good lawyer. We can give you support, but in this situation you need a good lawyer, so you should spend time and energy interviewing lawyers. Since your wife's responsibility ended at birth of son, I assume that she won't ask for that many hours with him. Since what happened, happened, you might be entitled to ask that her time with son be supervised (by relatives your trust, for free, or by state-registered and state-licensed professionals, for pay, possibly split between the parents 50'/50).

[winter4me]

Agreed. Lawyer required.