Rejection?

How do you handle rejection?

I feel stupid, fat, ugly, disgusted, and like I'm just not good enough.

Mostly I just feel really alone. I just want to matter/be important to someone.

Aww, has someone rejected you?

exactly how i feel hun.

I feel the exact same way!

Just have some comfort in knowing you're not alone.

In my own way I am hurting, so I am just on PC posting, and chatting to distract myself.

Best thing to do is distract yourself, that's the advice I am getting.

Hope you feel better soon.

Just remember you're not alone

Rejection - it hurts! It hurts like mad.

But I think to think that you are stupid, ugly, fat or plain old not good enough because a person has rejected is wrong. Yes, someone you may like may not like you back, or someone broke up with you because it wasn't working for them and it hurts our feelings and our pride. But do we let it beat us, or do we not let one person's opinion be the thing that defines us? Hopefully the latter.

We all go though it. Not liking someone when they liked us, or broken up with someone who's not right for us. Did we want them to feel terrible, to lose all confidence, to hate themselves for our decision? I know that myself the answer would be a huge heartfelt no, and a wish that they do find someone else, someone who will fit them like a glove, and I want them to be happy. I wonder if that's what the person who rejected you would want - for you to be happy and not feel this bad.

There will be someone out there who will not reject you, someone who will like you for you being you.

Hugs.

Damn, I feel alone too.
I feel fat, ugly, stupid and worthless too.
But remember one thing, no matter how you feel or act at an specific moment, someone will always care for you, even in the darkest reprise of his/her own thoughts

The someone - the person who rejected you - is not worth you because of how he rejected you. There is a very fine art to rejecting people in ways that do not make them feel THAT HURT and people are, apparently, either 1) born with that skill or 2) try to acquire it as they go through life, or 3) do not care at all.

I belong to category (2) at the current stage of my life in that I am trying to be gentle while rejecting people, and I belonged to category (3) when I was your age (I am speaking from the position of the person who rejects rather than the person who gets rejected because that has been my experience for the most part). I feel very ashamed and sad when I look back at how I rejected people in the past. But at least I am glad that I currently do not belong to category (3).

The person who rejected you is either in category (2) but has not yet learned about it, or, in category (3) for life, but in either case he is not worth you NOW - he is currently at least a little cruel so you would not want to be with him, in reality.

I do not know to what extent it helps, but it is definitely the case that he is not worth you, because people who care and are kind take their time to explain that they reject you for some sort of reason that has nothing to do with your being stupid/fat/ugly, so that you walk away feeling sad and disappointed and perhaps a little bitter, but not DISGUSTED.

I have the same feeling intially. I try to fight those feelings. Just because someone doesn't like me, doesn't mean that I am any lesser of a person, it just means our desires are different. I have to tell myself that a lot and fight the inner critic that torments me. I have to challange those feelings. It is very hard to do for me, but I can sometimes.

I think a lot of people have a real good sense of who they are and feel good about themselves. I never really had that. I try to use logic and reason as much as possible. When I fall short of that I jump to the polar opposite and hate the person. That sucks, but I feel better about being rejected that way. If I don't care about them, then I am not missing anything from thier rejection. That is probable a very unhealthy approach but it is how I work.

I know I'm fairly new on this site but what you wrote is the same way I feel. I always get rejected for being "Too Nice" and girls leave for guys who abuse them and cheat on them and say they love him. I told my counselor I can't stand spending another night alone. October 2nd 2002 I overdosed on pills and alcohol and left a notr saying if I can't know live I don't want to live. I've been trying the past few months to meet someone but I get same answer, Your nice,your sweet but no thanks...its frustrating I had to admit myself to hospital again after 8 years away from 1. I went in a couple weeks ago before taking pills not for me but I thought about how it would affect others. When I git home I found out mire people came to my apt.when they thought I was dead. No one comes now and u always go out of my way to write,call,text and visit others especially when there down . I'm sorry I wrote a lot I just read what you wrote and wanted to let you know I feel the same way...its a struggle everyday. I guess we gotta try to stay strong and do our best to get thru another night alone that's why I joined this site because in a way people like us are not alone. We got,we need,each other for support even to get through 1 mire night. Thanks

I always turned the rejection around & could very soon realize that the person who rejected me was the looser....not me.....knowing that in reality they weren't the kind of person I would have wanted to waste my life on in the first place.

Growing up as an only child....I never sensed that lonliness issues & really didn't care one way or the other on getting married. If the right person came along then great. Unfortunately, the person that came along that I got married to....I should have listened to my gut feelings of not wanting to marry them before the wedding. After 33 years of being married to the wrong person.....I love my alone life now & wouldn't trade it for anything.....while having good real friends that I never had before is a wonderful exchange.

I agree. We all must fell important so someone.
Unfortunately we seek that someone outside ourselves, this puts us in the position of being beggars: hey please tell me that I am important or I am nothing.

They rarely teach us that the person for whom we must be REALLY important and precious is ourselves.
If I value myself, rejections is handled in a VERY different way.
It still hurts, because we really wanted that person in our life, but we stay strong, on our strong legs because the one who went away did not take with him / her our self-esteem.

I rejected someone, some time ago. It was not because he was not ok or a good person. I did it because I was in so much pain for personal reasons that it was not time for me to think about love. Not his fault. Not mine. I tried to protect him from all the mess i had inside.

When rejection hurts so much, is because our self-esteem is not sound and safe. So please take care of that.
And tell to yourself all the kindest words on earth.

Food Preferences.

That's how I have learned to deal with rejection without it taking a blow to my self-worth...

Instead of "I am not good enough", my thinking is "He prefers pasta and I am obviously rice"...

And as far as I know, nobody can help their food preferences, you like what you like, you eat what you eat without judgement or repercussions...

The rejection still stings, I am still dissapointed, but my self-esteem and self-worth are still intact, because there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to suddenly become pasta, its not my fault.