[Citrine]

That I mean nothing.

Im treated like s*** at work. The outsider, the only one not related to anyone or their neighbour I have never been accepted. They are quietly mean, making teas when Im out, sharing jokes but not to me. Im nice, I bring in doughnuts, I wash up, I let them sit near to their friends. I do my job well, I am never off. I dont let them down. They dont like me. I dont smell! I dont have 2 heads.

The last 2 bfs have been the worst ever. One thought its ok to have other female friends when I keep his home and kids happy and the other wanted my passport and to convert me.

My Father treated me a bit like one of my bosses at work, in fact he reminds me of him, Im a disappointment, hes always hinting and disapproving of me.

this home situ has rocked me. smitten landlord and opposite tenants. my own co tenant the epitammy of a spoiled cow. but loved and worshipped. now i have her frightening family on my heels bcause she has brilliantly played an ace, shes ensuring her perfect self is the winner. she hs me scared to look at her least hr father n brothers will be after me.

i have few friends that i can talk to. i struggle with depression and anxiety. i do well. no one would know really.

im surplus. im the unwanted child (i was actually) im the one that ruins the party by turning up. i tried to leave this life once ,obviuosly i failed.

u know when u feel so hated and usless, anyone? i dont learn im surplus.

[IceCreamKid]

I think you sound like a nice person. The next time you bring in a doughnut, you might just bring one for yourself. If anyone comments you could say you were saving your money for a special trip, and then the next time you bring in a doughnut bring in just one extra for that person. (This is a way of asserting your individualism and recognizing your co-workers as individuals).

People who figure out you are sensitive and bothered by a disapproving look will likely use that on you. Try to cultivate an attitude of "I know I am a good worker, a nice person, and undeserving of dirty looks." If you continue to get disapproving looks, you can ask in a mild (not anxious) tone "Did you need something, Mr. Frownie?" Only don't call him Frownie unless that is his real name!

Remember you have the right stuff. You are worthwhile. You have your place in the world. Courage!

[Citrine]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

I think you sound like a nice person. The next time you bring in a doughnut, you might just bring one for yourself. If anyone comments you could say you were saving your money for a special trip, and then the next time you bring in a doughnut bring in just one extra for that person. (This is a way of asserting your individualism and recognizing your co-workers as individuals).

People who figure out you are sensitive and bothered by a disapproving look will likely use that on you. Try to cultivate an attitude of "I know I am a good worker, a nice person, and undeserving of dirty looks." If you continue to get disapproving looks, you can ask in a mild (not anxious) tone "Did you need something, Mr. Frownie?" Only don't call him Frownie unless that is his real name!

Remember you have the right stuff. You are worthwhile. You have your place in the world. Courage!

Thanks, I was feeling v alone and low when i wrote that, im not too bad now.

[Citrine]

Thanks for all the hugs y'all.Im feeling calmer. I just want to be happy y'know.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Citrine

Thanks for all the hugs y'all.Im feeling calmer. I just want to be happy y'know.

I'm glad to hear you are feeling better. I second wanting to be happy!