[yellowfrog268]

1. Never having had the ability to make or keep friends.
OR
2. Having had the ability to make and keep friends but later losing it.

I've always been alone. Even my earliest memories I recall playing by myself despite the availability of others my own age and the encouragement from adults. I never understood how to join in on imaginative play. Not that I can't use my own imagination, I never could understand another's imaginary world. Weird but I remember thinking "What are the rules here? Why do the other kids seem to know how to join in on this? Can they see inside each others heads?"
This continued through my teens where social interaction is less about imagination and more about social bonding and and defining oneself. Again, I tried but I just couldn't grasp the rules of the game. There were clicks of friends and of course there were the loners/outcasts. I couldn't get on with either type. Pretty bad when even the outcasts shun you.

Now here I am in adulthood and while I've learned a bit it still feels to me like I don't make connections I simply have pleasant interactions based on what I've learned is social behavior. It almost never goes beyond that. Hell, I've even been accused of being cold or distant or that I send out a vibe of "leave me alone" because I don't have that instant connection or exude warmth and friendliness with others.
So, is it like the saying about love----"Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" or not?

[manwithnofriends]

Interesting... can't help you there. (clue is in my username) I have a lot to learn as well.