[spaceid]

So I guess I have one of those typical relationship issues between a girl and a guy. I am the girl and lately I do not feel like I'm being listened to or acknowledged.

I am not someone who talks excessively, I'm rather quiet, so it is not like I am talking his ear off and he just wants some peace and quiet. But I feel like when I say something that I feel is important and I would like him to know about he is just sort of there, but not really responding to what I am saying.

For example, I am changing my birth control because I feel like I had a lot of bad reactions to my last one that really affected me and the people around me. He even suggested that I go to my doctor and talk about it with him, which I was going to do anyway. I did this and now when I bring up the fact that I have the appointment with my doctor to get my new birth control it is like he doesn't acknowledge that I even said anything or he changes the subject. I am getting the Mirena and I have never had something like this so the thought of having something inserted into my uterus is a little scary, but it is the best option for me. I am at work and texted him that I made my appointment, but I don't hear from him even through we were having a typically fine conversation via text just 30 seconds before. I know that he cannot read my mind, but a response of "would you like me to go with you" or "how long is it going to take" or really any response for that matter would be nice just so I get an acknowledgement to what I just said. Birth control and my health is a big deal and I feel like he should also have a little concern or interest. Instead the response I get 20 minutes later is "what did you have for lunch?"

It just makes me so mad. I don't even know what to say. Last year he said that we don't have enough serious conversations, but it seems like when I try to have one with him it doesn't go anywhere. Maybe it is more of a big deal to me that it is to him? Maybe he only wants to have serious conversations about what he wants to talk about? But seriously, no response at all just drives me nuts! What do I say to him without yelling at him?

[kaliope]

it can be really frustrating when we don't feel on the same page as our partners. the best way to talk to him without blowing up is to use the tried and true I Feel statements. it is a simple format. fill in the blanks... I feel __________ (insert a feeling word) when ______________ (describe situation that makes you upset) because_____________( why it makes yu upset) what I would like is _____________ (describe your need). Try to stay away from saying "you" as much as possible as this puts people on the defensive. You could say...I feel upset and angry when I don't receive a response to my text regarding birth control because this impacts both our lives. what I would like is support in my birth control decision. good luck...

[Travelinglady]

I don't blame you for feeling angry. I just don't know why he doesn't respond. You say he will talk about things that are important to himself. Maybe you could say something like, "I heard you when you said you thought we should have some serious conversations. Well, I want to tell you something I think is a serious matter" and see what he says? As the saying goes, sometimes you have to get a mule's attention first. A thought, anyway.....

How he responds to that opening, I think, will be revealing. If he says something like, "Okay, what is it you want to talk about?" Then you can respond. What he says, then, might even be more revealing! You might see if he really cares about what you say or if he is more in a relationship with you for what he is getting out if it. Or if you want to stay with a guy who might not be able to acknowledge you, for whatever reasons. A good relationship should be a two-way street, when it comes to this kind of relationship in particular. Or, we hope, he will begin to respond, and you will see what you do need to do to get him to acknowledge you. And maybe he will see how the relationship is improved when he does!

[NWgirl2013]

It is my experience that guys don't really want to know too much about things like this. It makes them uncomfortable. That's not a fault, but it is an indicator to you that sometimes, like now, he probably is feeling it is TMI. It doesn't mean he doesn't care, about you or this, but that he heard enough. He did already weigh in on this and offered that a you might want to talk to your doctor, someone more knowledgeable than he.

He probably wants you to handle it, as it is a (very) personal thing. As you indicated, he's happy to talk to you about anything else, but this. Yes, it is important to you, but he said what he had to say...
BTW, trying to have this sort of 'conversation' via text~at work~ seems inappropriate. This is an 'in person' sort of thing, don't you think?

So, what do you say? Say you are handling it but you are a little scared, you wish he understood your fear & you'll let him know when it's over. I'm sorry for your frustration. Is extracting from him the desired response as good as a spontaneous one?
Just a thought....

Wish you the best in this procedure; I hope this is the right thing for you.