Hurt by a friend

I'm not great at making/keeping friends. I became friends with a woman about four years ago and we enjoy doing things together. We go out to lunch once a week and such

A couple weeks ago we talked about going to the coast with her and me and a couple of other women from the church. Well she went to the coast with the other two women and I was left out.

I'm feeling pretty hurt. I haven't talked to her yet. Either I'm a total loser or people just suck, or both.

Ah Otter I get you. That was pretty mean. You are understandably hurt. Maybe its not her, it may be that the others dont know you so well or one of them had a say in it. I can tell you that people can find something disagreeable about someone that is quite trivial and unwarranted. You are right about people, they do suck, most people.

Thank you Citrine. I just don't get it. I don't think she could not see that this would hurt me. I wouldn't have thought she would purposely hurt me- confused!

You may not want to hear this, but try to resist getting angry until you learn what she has to say.
Love.

No, you're right Soto. I'm probably acting like a jr high school girl about this. I don't know what I'm going to say to her. I don't want her to feel like she can't do stuff without me. It's just that we were making specific plans with particular people and she went ahead without me. I don't see how the conversation is not going to be awkward.

I don't think you're acting like a jr high school girl. I would of felt the exact same way and I'll be 41 yrs old next week! I think that no matter how old we get we still can have our feelings hurt. I really feel your pain in this. I'm not good at all at making friends and I have only one lady that I talk to quiet often and she and I get together every 2 wks and have lunch or I go to her house and we sit around and talk for a while. She has done stuff to me in the past that really, really hurt. Of course I forgave her but I've never forgot and I don't feel as close to her as I used to feel.
I think that since y'all were making specific plans together that she does owe you an explanation. I would ask her how her trip was and see if she'll bring it up and explain why she didn't take you as planned. If she's really a good friend to you then she should put herself in your shoes and understand that if this were done to her then it would hurt her feelings too. She should have been respectful of your feelings and should have let you know that she changed her mind. Even if those other ladies didn't know you very well and didn't want you to go your friend should have been on your side. She could of declined to go with them and you and her could have went together as planned. I'm interested to hear how she explains herself. I give you big hugs for having to deal with this. I'm so sorry that this happened to you by someone you really thought that you could trust.

Thank you Cracking Slowly for your thoughtful post I appreciate it very much.

Diane brought it up I guess for them to go and I guess because it was her thing Elaine didn't feel like she could suggest I go. She understood why I was hurt and I think she apologized.

Lame, yes, and I think she knew it, but I'm going through crap right now and she is one of those people you really want around when things are hard.

No matter what, I'm very glad I talked to her about it. I appreciate the encouragement to bring it up. It was hard, but it was good advice. Thank you

Congratulations! It's good that you withheld your anger until you learned more about the situation.

I have got angry too soon many times in my life. I now try to remind myself to wait until I have as much information as possible; then, if I choose, I can get angry.

I was a little angry I guess, but mostly I was hurt. I was glad she acknowledged that I was hurt. If we hadn't talked about it, it would have been harmful to our friendship. I'm proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone and not just glazing over it.

I'm very proud of you too!

Aw thanks!