[Broncos38]

I love my mother dearly, but recently she has been getting on my nerves. I'm 33 and am starting to get free of my seizures, but she won't really loosen up and treat me likeanadult. I know I've made a few mistakes in the past year, but that was only when I was looking for Mr. Right, I've since found him, and he and his family have been very wonderful to me! We live in the same county, but are 45 mins away from each other and have to call each other around his schedule 'cause at the moment he works 2 part-time jobs. I've had my Epilepsy since I was 8 months old. I can see how she wanted me to be near to her when I was a kid, but now that I'm a grown woman and things are starting to get easier(other than her being so protective & controlling-she still wants me to shower with the door open so she can hear me, I don't even have generalized tonic-clonic seizures anymore-if any (and I only had 2 recently when my VNS battery was low and needed replacement) I have my staring seizures-and only when she is around. My Epilepsy was mostly cured after I had my brain surgery and was on the Modified Atkins Diet for 2 years (from October 11, 2010-October 11, 2012). I'm the one in the house(I live with 2 older brothers, ages 36 and 47, and both parents) who does the majority of the chores (I clean the house, do laundry, clean(I'm the only one who does this part with a paper towel) & change our cats' water dish,help preparefood,sometimesmy mom makes me waiton her hand & foot likea live-in maid!I feel like"Cinderella"sometimes. I understand I live at home and don't have a job, but it's RIDICULOUS because my mom will sometimes tell me how to do those jobs or how fast I should be doing them. Sometimes she'll giveme thingsto do oneright aftertheother,aftertheother, and expect me to remember every minute detail of what she told me to do-or even bring up from downstairs! I don't mind helping her every now and then, or even doing it for a reward(likeshe used to do-she'd treat me to lunch or dinner or do SOMETHING to show she appreciated my help, but now she hardly even gives so much as a "Thank You" or any kind of compliment. My brothers don't even so much as volunteer to help me when I have a lot to bring upstairs from downstairs! My boyfriend is looking into getting us a 2-bedroom low-income apartment(parents don't know about this yet)-and I honestly don't know how to approach my parents about it. He and I already have a pre-engagement/promise rings, and we both don't want to live in our parents' homes any longer. I look forward to any opinions on the matter. Thank you all ahead o

[healingme4me]

Sometimes, it would appear that doing the adult thing, and talking about it, before it happens would be appropriate. Sometimes, waiting to last minute, isn't such a bad idea, either.

Doesn't sound like a healthy environment to live in.

Glad you are managing your disorder and are capable of all that is expected of you, in your current home!

Hope you are able to get some more advice here!

[JCG1]

All families are different but if it were me I would sit down my mom alone and explain how I felt and that you are going to get married. You stated how you felt very nicely on here and could you do similar in person with your mom? Sometimes writing what you want to say can help.
Since your mom has been in the care taker role for so long I would think it is hard for her to change. A lot of confusion and unknown. She is probably fearful too. Hopefully as she see's you are happy it will get easier.