[purplemystery]

I am currently living in a 6-person "apartment" (on my college's campus), and every person has their own single. I only know one other girl, but she has been away for the past week because she is having surgery. I used to keep my door open, but because my friend isn't here, I will admit that my door has been closed a lot more often; I just feel like being alone. And one of my roommates tends to bring guys into the apartment every night, and I don't feel like being so visible to everyone. For the past few nights, I have heard my roommate whisper about me and then everyone laughs and makes noises outside my door. I'm pretty sure she is saying something about how I'm a weird loner or socially avoidant. I feel bad that I haven't been social since my friend isn't here. I've wanted to open my door more, but I'm feeling very uncomfortable and awkward now that I know she has talked about me, which makes me want to stay in my room more. But I feel like I should have made more of an effort to talk to her. I would understand if she thought I was being rude. Anyone else ever been misunderstood as an introvert?

[MarlboroChick]

Im pretty extroverted, so i cant relate on that level but I can say that if you were to go out and confront the girl and/or her friends about that crap they might stop. Or is it possible to leave when her friends are over? That'd kind of be running away from the problem but if you dont/cant deal with the stress right now, you could do that. Maybe go down to a coffee shop or something. You might meet some people you like in the process.

[purplemystery]

I think it might just make things worse if I were to confront her about it. I also feel partially guilty because I haven't been very social. Maybe talking to her friends about it was justified? I'm not sure. But thanks, perhaps it's a good idea to get out of the apartment for now.

[Travelinglady]

You can always say you have a lot of schoolwork to do! (Something to justify staying in your room....)

I never liked roommates to bring in too many guests.

I am more introverted. There's nothing "wrong" with that. I was never talked about for being that way.(As far as I know. I was seen as more shy, I think.) Of course, we don't know for sure that she was talking about you in a negative way. Or did you actually hear word for word what she said and you know it was about you?

[purplemystery]

That's a good idea. I'll have to try to talk to her and lightly apologize for being antisocial lately, though I'm just worried about talking to her at all at this point. Ugh.

I'm sure that she was talking about me, though I didn't hear what she said. She took turns and talked about all of the roommates, then considerably lowered her voice.

[Lmats]

I literally know exactly what you're talking about! Currently, I'm living in a suite with three other girls with a similar arrangement. Last year, I lived in a single room just in the hallway, but everyone else on my floor seemed as though they were really close. They would party all the time and get drunk practically every night. That just wasn't what I was in to, so naturally, I stayed in my room. One night, a drunk girl and semi-drunk guy were standing outside my doorway (his room was across the hall from me) and were being kind of loud. The girl was like "Shh, she's in her room! She doesn't like us!" or something of the sort, which made me kind of upset that my introversion and complete shyness was coming off as me not liking anyone. Unfortunately for me, I was in the middle of a feeling of anger at the time, so I actually whipped my door open and was like, "you know, I can hear you!" What happened afterwards is a long story, but basically involved them wandering into my room and talking to me in a drunken state for like, an hour at 2AM. Eventually they both went back into his room. I'm totally familiar with the walls being paper thin in these sorts of apartment-style living arrangements. I literally heard her say something like "She's really nice, we should talk to her more" to which he responded with "Yeah, but she's soo socially awkward!" So I know your pain in that regard.

Honestly, I don't really know how to solve the situation because if I did, I wouldn't be dealing with that same problem year after year. For me, it's almost ok and you almost get used to it. I just always kind of think that I don't really want to be too close with my roommates because otherwise they might intrude on my alone time, which is sacred to me. For dealing with loneliness, I just put on a radio or a TV in the background or phone my mom.

Just do whatever you're comfortable with at the time. If you can't keep your door open, try not to stress too much about it. You'll be happiest when you're comfortable!

people will talk, people will judge. If you're an extrovert they judge one thing and if you're an introvert it's something else. The part that bothers me is tht it's none of her fcking business what you do and if you want to avoid people you're not obligated to be social. You have every right to feel comfortable and secure in your own place.

I disagree that going out and talking to them is going to do any good. By nature introverts are introverts and whenever we try to go out of our way to get along on the terms of an extrovert a disaster ensues. I think that if you were to approach her at all, it would be on your terms and only one on one, dont' try to do it while her friends are there, you'll only end up having a harder time and possibly more embarrassed and wanting to hide in your shell.

Nothing is wrong with you, and it's not for them to look down on you. With regards to the time when they are there, I would find some good music, headphones and play it loud... do what you're comfortable doing, while drowning them out.