[Skanzi]

Hi there,

There's a guy in my class at school. He's not even being a prick, i just find his character intimidating. He's not the only one who is able to quickly intimidate me. I'm just not sure how to react. I'll give you a very simple example of what i mean: We're working at a garden as a school project, he takes command and says i have to move a plant which he could also have moved. It's not really even that i dislike the fact so much that i have to move the plant, but i can't take the fact that someone is bossing me around. But this guy is a pretty manly and big guy, and i'm just intermediate. And i feel intimidated by him and i don't know if i should object to his task for me. Like i said, the problem is that i can't mentally handle being bossed around and i feel the need to defend my dominance by objecting what he tells me to do. Only that, i could care less about moving a plant. But this guy is a very bossy person, even when i object, he is very persistent and does not stop telling me to do something until i actually do it.

Now, i'm not a bully victim. And i do know how to stand up to myself would someone really try to ***** me over. But i just feel so insecure when someone is bossing me around or challenging me. I always feel the need that i need to stand up for myself, be masculine, and not let someone insult me.

Another example is if someone says: "why did you do that? you're an idiot!". I might not feel truly offended that the person called me an idiot, but i still feel like i need to defend myself and say something insulting to that person too.

I guess what it all comes down to that i can't accept a situation where a person has more power over me than i have over them. (except when it comes down to teachers and stuff). I feel like i need to be masculine and dominant and not let someone insult, challenge or command me without them getting away with it, otherwise i feel like i'm being weak. And i don't want to give that impression.

How do i go about this?

[gearoid]

As hard as it is to do people like him just need to be ignored, he is obviously pushing you around to compensate for his own shortcomings so just be content knowing you are not an ahole. He will leave school and try it on with someone who will put him in his place eventually but you will be long gone well on your way and won't have to worry.

The next time he tells you to move something ask him if his arms are painted on, if not move it himself the lazy git!

[Jan1212]

I don't understand something, if you say you're not a victim or not being bullied by him, you just feel a sense of entitlement from your peers or else you'll feel weak? You aren't weak for doing favors nor you are being disrespected or bossed around I think.

I agree to stand your ground when someone yells or disrespects you, when someone asks you to do something, tell them to say please, if they're repetitively impolite, don't do it and say you're busy. If you don't like something, let him know so he won't do it again, maybe he doesn't know he's giving off the wrong impression.