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  #1  
Old Oct 24, 2013, 01:03 PM
takecare1 takecare1 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 2
Hi people
Please help!
I can't stop thinking about one man.Sounds ok, but I'm married!
I'm married! I'm not happy as I would like to be, we have some good day!
We have two beautiful kids.
I believe in marriage, and I don't want to leave my husband.

I meet this many few months ago, he tattooed me and since then I can't stop thinking about him, I've bee having dreams about him
To be honest I wasn't looking for this, I didn't know him before and he is not the type of a man I like!
So why I want him! Why I'm still thinking about him?
Hugs from:
healingme4me, Travelinglady

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  #2  
Old Oct 25, 2013, 12:28 AM
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49,212
Hello, takecare1, and welcome to Psych Central! I am thinking that you might need some romance/fun back into your marriage and your life in general. If you can get back into your relationship with your husband, then maybe you won't feel the need to fantasize about that guy so much.

Do you and your husband still "date" sometimes--such as going out to dinner and to a movie? Are you still doing nice things for each other, like maybe when you were dating?

This idea is the first possibility that comes into my mind anyway.
Hugs from:
takecare1
Thanks for this!
takecare1
  #3  
Old Oct 25, 2013, 11:01 AM
jadzea jadzea is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2011
Posts: 305
It sounds to me like you're a little bored and indulging in some "what if" fantasy. Can you get away without your children? If you can take some time and play tourist, even if it is in your own town. Do all the things people who do not live in the area do. Do things you wouldn't normally do. Go out to eat. Get a room. Spend the night. Add something different to your life to break the monotony. After you do this once, do it again. Keep yourself discovering each other and keep your relationship alive.
Hugs from:
takecare1
Thanks for this!
takecare1
  #4  
Old Oct 25, 2013, 03:16 PM
Anonymous12111009
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by takecare1 View Post
Hi people
Please help!
I can't stop thinking about one man.Sounds ok, but I'm married!
I'm married! I'm not happy as I would like to be, we have some good day!
We have two beautiful kids.
I believe in marriage, and I don't want to leave my husband.

I meet this many few months ago, he tattooed me and since then I can't stop thinking about him, I've bee having dreams about him
To be honest I wasn't looking for this, I didn't know him before and he is not the type of a man I like!
So why I want him! Why I'm still thinking about him?
If you believe in your marriage, that's great. It's not that temptations or invading and uninvited thoughts that come that is so wrong it's if you pursue them and even just entertain them in your thoughts. That is playing with fire but the fact that it seems that you're kind of obsessed somehow with this guy, I agree with the others that something may be missing from your relationship with your husband. If you do love each other and from waht you've said I have no reason to think otherwise, I think that you should communicate with your husband about what's missing when you figure it out. (not about the other man, of course don't do that!) I am sure that you can work something out that will help you two to come together as a couple and enjoy things more. Let him know how and what you're not happy about, but remember to let him know also that you're not completely unhappy but that there are some things you'd like to change in your relationship

Counseling if it's an option for you would possibly be a good idea before there is a rift that forms between you, because at that point counseling, in my opinion, becomes tougher to work through.
Hugs from:
takecare1
Thanks for this!
takecare1
  #5  
Old Oct 25, 2013, 06:57 PM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
What would bring your marriage to the as happy as you'd like to be?

Fantasies, are fantasies. I wouldn't beat myself up, over it.

If you aren't actually, in contact with this man, then there's nothing wrong, per se, and of course, it doesn't mean you want to leave your marriage; the grass isn't always greener.

Take a look, at what's not so content about your marriage, what needs are left unfilled, that you'd like to work on, together, with your husband, that you can express to him.

Sounds, like you've got yourself a bit of a crush. It happens. It will probably pass, over time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by takecare1 View Post
Hi people
Please help!
I can't stop thinking about one man.Sounds ok, but I'm married!
I'm married! I'm not happy as I would like to be, we have some good day!
We have two beautiful kids.
I believe in marriage, and I don't want to leave my husband.

I meet this many few months ago, he tattooed me and since then I can't stop thinking about him, I've bee having dreams about him
To be honest I wasn't looking for this, I didn't know him before and he is not the type of a man I like!
So why I want him! Why I'm still thinking about him?
Hugs from:
takecare1
Thanks for this!
takecare1
  #6  
Old Oct 25, 2013, 09:03 PM
I am human's Avatar
I am human I am human is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego
Posts: 22
Fantasy is entertainment for your mind, just realize even if you indulged with this person down the road you would probably be in same place you are now or worse, Plan some fun time for you and your husband!
Just think it through to the end it is not worth risking your marriage if you love your husband! good luck!!
Hugs from:
takecare1
Thanks for this!
takecare1
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