Filed For Divorce

FNCrazy · Oct 20, 2006 at 01:27 PM

So, my wife and I filed for divorce. It's been up and down, but it looks like she's going to be good about co-parenting, which was my biggest fear. At first, she was threatening to leave the country with my son, but I think she's come to the realization that it's best for our son to work things out, and see both his mom and dad.

So, just thought I would share. Filed For Divorce

BlueFaith · Oct 20, 2006 at 01:55 PM

I'm glad you and your wife were able to work things out with parenting. After all, the child shouldn't have to suffer because of something that isn't their fault, IMO. So, YAY! And welcome to PsychCentral! Filed For Divorce

Rhapsody · Oct 20, 2006 at 02:08 PM

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

And .............................................................................. Good Luck with Your SON!

LoVe,
Rhapsody - Filed For Divorce

FNCrazy · Oct 20, 2006 at 02:25 PM

Thanks everyone. The most important thing to me is my son, and luckily he's not even 2, so he will hopefully grow up with 2 parents, 2 step parents, who all adore him and he'll never know the fights he missed by us staying together.

arod13 · Oct 20, 2006 at 11:57 PM

FNCrazy - glad you guys are working it out the child is the most important thing hope you guys can continue to work together for the child

Leilee · Oct 21, 2006 at 01:34 PM

Please be gentle with yourself. It's very hard doing what you're doing. I know from breakups involving children. I know it's your time to grieve and you might want to take an upbeat by looking into holestic approaches. try the library on those types of healings.

Best wishes and Gods Speed,

Leilee

seeker1950 · Oct 21, 2006 at 01:55 PM

I too know how brave you are to face this. I think you are doing the right thing.
Pattty

Oct 23, 2006 at 08:07 PM

i have been in this same exact situation, to protect your visitation/co parenting rights to your son have it stipulated in the divorce papers the days of the month you have exclusive access, or you could be in for a nasty shock, verbal agreements mean nothing in childrens court and the father is normally the person who loses out in these cases,

i made the mistake of trusting her when she said i could see my son whenever i wanted, in reality i get to see him 3-4 times a year if i am lucky

Sarah116 · Oct 23, 2006 at 08:17 PM

That must be really hard! But parents can get divorced even know it is said and often not thought about what will happen after marriage, but a parent should never divorce their kids!

(JD) · Oct 23, 2006 at 11:02 PM

I'm sorry that the was the best decision. Make sure that your agreements are all written down legally. It's one thing to agree she won't leave the country, it's another thing to have it written that she won't move farther than xx miles from the area.

Do good self care now, ok? Divorce is a failure of marriage, so you will have a tendency to feel like a failure. Don't allow yourself to wallow in all the "what-ifs" but look toward a changed life that's filled with new possibilities Filed For Divorce

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FNCrazy · Oct 25, 2006 at 02:05 PM

She's definitely calmed down considerably, and I no longer consider her a risk to leave with our son. We've filed the paperwork jointly, which includes a parenting plan that is workable for both of us.

We go down tomorrow to see the judge and waive the 90 day period.

The problem is, the apartment she wants isn't ready for another month! I can't stand the anxiety of hanging around her, so it's going to be a rough month. She's got a place to sleep, but nowhere to watch our son, so during her time with him she'll be at my house. Filed For Divorce

Oh well, could be worse.

FNCrazy · Oct 26, 2006 at 01:35 PM

Well, our divorce is final. We're going to work very hard to be friends and excellent co-parents. Our #1 goal is our son, and we're going to do everything possible to make the transition as easy on him as possible.

So, single life, in the last 45 minutes, okay. No women falling at my feet like I expected though Filed For Divorce

Anyway, definitely mixed emotions, more than I expected since i'm the one that finally decided enough was enough. I thought I would be happier. I guess I just have been trying so hard to be stoic that I haven't had a chance to grieve the loss of the life I thought I wanted.

Blah blah...

(JD) · Oct 26, 2006 at 04:28 PM

I think that though she is still around more than you had hoped at this point, it will be easier because you are both your own adults with your own lives now. Sounds to me like a good way to see if those goals you both set about parenting will work at all. Keep posting Jeff, it does a soul good. Filed For Divorce

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BlueFaith Grand Magnate Member Since Jul 2005 Location: Earth Posts: 4,367 19	Oct 20, 2006 at 01:55 PM #2 I'm glad you and your wife were able to work things out with parenting. After all, the child shouldn't have to suffer because of something that isn't their fault, IMO. So, YAY! And welcome to PsychCentral! __________________ "There are things we need to forget and forgive, Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need." Silverchair- All Across The World
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Rhapsody Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 9,946 18 1 hugs given	Oct 20, 2006 at 02:08 PM #3 <font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font> And .............................................................................. Good Luck with Your SON! LoVe, Rhapsody -
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Leilee Member Member Since Aug 2006 Location: Hawaii, USA Posts: 50 18	Oct 21, 2006 at 01:34 PM #6 Please be gentle with yourself. It's very hard doing what you're doing. I know from breakups involving children. I know it's your time to grieve and you might want to take an upbeat by looking into holestic approaches. try the library on those types of healings. Best wishes and Gods Speed, Leilee
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seeker1950 Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2005 Location: WV Posts: 8,131 19 1,580 hugs given	Oct 21, 2006 at 01:55 PM #7 I too know how brave you are to face this. I think you are doing the right thing. Pattty
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Sarah116 Poohbah Member Since Aug 2006 Posts: 1,449 18	Oct 23, 2006 at 08:17 PM #9 That must be really hard! But parents can get divorced even know it is said and often not thought about what will happen after marriage, but a parent should never divorce their kids! __________________ "It hit me like a ton of bricks!"
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