I Can't Bare It!

It never fails! I get kicked out of bed by a 4 year old that has to sleep with his mommy. It happens all the time! Then I get so upset to the point of not being able to fall asleep again. I don't know what to do about it, but THIS IS A PROBLEM. I'll probably get 3 hours of sleep tonight, if I'm lucky. The worst part about this is, it's something that's not going to go away any time soon, and I don't know what to do about it.

Im guessing you are not the mommy????

this is what kids do, they want to sleep with their mom. Try not to get upset about it. She can put him back in bed in the mornings with a stuffed animal, or security blanket. try to wein them out of coming to sleep in the bed.

I'm curious, are you the father?

The easiest solution is to get a bigger bed so all three of you fit in comfortably and can sleep through the night. Otherwise, the mother is obviously more concerned about her child than you. "Experts" say children should not be allowed to sleep with their parents. I don't know if that is true but I know a lot of parents that end up being sorry they started that habit.

Lonely - lol! You're right I'm not the mommy.

Jadzea - I'm not the father, but I might as well be. I know she would prefer it not to happen, but it doesn't drive her bonkers like it does to me.

I like Jadzea's idea -- get a bed that can acommodate all of you

As for the "experts" opinion on this being not recommended. I say "pshaw" my kids all slept with me for periods in their younger years and they are just fine.

And try not to let it upset you. The thing is the bond between a young child and their mommy is one that is, in a normal situation, very strong. I am sure you care very much for the both of them so try to accomodate as best you can if you can't get a bigger bed.

Settle him down, bring him back to his bed.

Love my kids, like my personal space, too

It sounds like it's become habit.

Stuff like this, can destroy intimacy, in relationships.

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It does! We lay him down, and by the time we get to bed and try to be intimate, he will cry, we will stop the session, and he'll come to the room. Or he'll come in the room after we fall asleep (usually crying) and wake me up. It's hard, because mommy is a deep sleeper, and usually doesn't even remember it happening

My 12yo seats between us on purpose and told us "it is not a valentines day" when we walked hand in hand
Ha-ha
They say it is natural occurring complex to be reject the same gender parent.
Give it a time and know that it is not a coalition against you
I stay with my younger one until he goes to sleep and he does not come in the middle of night .give it a try and do not get upset,it makes it worse
Good luck

When I stopped nursing my youngest son and weeaned him off of co-sleeping he was younger than your partners son. I took his matress from his toddler bed and placed it beside mine on the floor, then every night I moved it further out of the room and down the hall eventually to his own bed. It actually only took a few weeks. Then after that if he woke I would go calm him and lay with him and rub his head for a few minutes (in his own bed) and he would be ok. Which did not go on for too long. Now he never wakes at night. Maybe you could try something like that.

A lot of experts also advise of the benefits of co-sleeping, so there ya go. Experts never agree. But it can help create a strong bond. However at somepoint he does need to learn to sleep on his own. I remember I had really bad night terrors when I was a kid and would wake my mom or wake her up with my screaming untill I was about 12. Maybe there is a reason why he is having such dissrupted sleep? Maybe not but can't hurt to try to find out why he is waking so much and seems scared. Maybe you and mom can work on illimanting his fears or whatever it is.

But be patient, it will get better if you both keep trying to get him out of this routine. It is a pretty normal stage they go through in these young years, even though is can be very frustrating to the parents sometimes.

I would say he's probably missing his Daddy and if you plan on staying in his life you should be more understanding of his feelings.' She is A package deal no? Take some Tylenol PM and plan an intimate night in advance. He won't be young forever and when you have to deal with A teenager don't you want a good relationship in place? It has to start now.

Every once a while or three-year-old comes to sleep with us. We've had trouble with him sleeping in his own bed since he was about two. One thing we did was to come to a toy store and let them pick out his own stuffed animal so that he knew it when he had a stuffed animal that it was time for bed in his bed.
We also have him in a full-size bed and we got a tent for the bed one of those sleeping tents? It worked great. We made a big deal out of it that it was just for him and no one else could fit in the little door to get into his bed. It was his fort.

He still comes to sleep with us every now and then. He can climb up onto the bed himself. When he starts kicking and one of us gets up we usually end up sleeping in his bed. It's a full-size bed a twin, but it's comfortable. At least one of us is getting a good nights sleep.

I did like the suggestion of putting his mattress next year mattress so that he knows that the security is there if he wakes up and might help them to stay in his own bed.
Also are you in a routine for when you put him to bed? Something that's very step-by-step. Brush your teeth, read a story, lay down in bed, etc. etc. kids at that age are very into routine and structure.
Personally I suggest getting him into a real bed, not a toddler bed, and actually having a place for you to get a good nights sleep. Parents need a good nights sleep!

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