[melanie30]

I met someone new that I thought finally was good but I guess I was wrong.
I need opinions on this because I do not know what to think about this situation....

so I cam eback frm my trip out west. there is this guy who is 33 years old who lives 4 doors away from me. his name is Sheldon. ive seen him around before but only said hi. I kinda like dhim a little. so oneday when I was walking my dog he was out walking his neighbours dog. we exchanged numbers. we started hangingout and texting eachother a lot.

he would open doors for me, pay for meals, was super nice and I was thinking to myself wow I finally found a good guy.

he brought me over for dinner to meet his family his family friends and extended family. so then I started going over to his parents house with him every weekend.

he brought me to hang out with his friends as well.

oneday I met one of his bestfriends Darryl and Darryl apparently likes to take any girl sheldons involved with away from him.

so I said to sheldn oneday he is cool can I add him to facebook he said no and if u do this will break us.

I never understood that I was just trying to be friends with his friends

he said he didn't want a relationship yet and get to know eachother as friends which was fine. then he was talking to me about how in the past a couple girls cheated on him infront of his face and it really hurt him.

then he got to kissing me goodnight and I finally oneday kissed him back. one night we were fooling around and almost had sex. a week later we did end up having sex.

then we had a fight and I don't even remember what it was about. but I did end up aqusing Sheldon of using me.

anyways he was treating me like he wanted a relationship.

then out of the blue oneday he said he still wants to get to know me better and he is scared of being cheated on.

he then oneday out of the blue started calling me names and saying very mean stuff to me like everyone in the neibourhood hates you , then he said I was bad in bed. then I said are you bi polar...oneday you are like one way and the next you switch.

anyways, then he messaged a guy I was involoved with back in the day who Sheldon knew still liked me and told him I slept with him

so this guy called me and was like I know what u did, u slept with Sheldon and now sheldons saying your going o sleep with his friend Darryl.

not true. I never did anything with Darryl ever.

so after that I got upset and I didn't know where else to turn and after Darryl messaging me wanting me to add him to fb I did.

Sheldon found out and majorly flipped out on me for talking to Darryl with out him there

after that night I never spoke or saw Darryl I ignored his messages cuz it made Sheldon upset and Sheldon knew I was ignoring Darryl.

so I thought we resolved that I spoke to Sheldon to his face we both apologized for the recent fight we had and I showed him things that Darryl said to me via text messaging because Darryl was lying to Sheldon about things too.

so we started hanging out again he came over spent time with my parents like before and I went and spent time with his parents.

we hung out at his neighbours house and onenight all he could do was make jokes about how I should be with Darryl and me and Darryl would make a cute couple etc...so I got upset that I wanted to cry. I got up and said do u really want me with Darryl and he was like no im only joking with u. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be with you.

then I messaged him and said I am not over the things you called me it was hurtful.

he messages me back and says I really did like you but I thought about it and I don't even wanna be friends with you after what you did. WHAT DID I DO? I SPOKE TO DARRYL. then he said you are the bi polar one and why don't you message Darryl back and **** him so he can leave u and go back to his ex hahaha.

then he started name calling me again

Sheldon talks to my sister every day. Sheldon asks how the family is except me. he said he has no problem with the family he cares about my family but he is mad at me.

then he tells my sister iam very rude.

so I took a break from him for a week and a bit

and I messaged him two days ago I said I wanna clear the air face to face. im tired of the he said she said crap

he said ok

then yesterday night he messaged me and goes I thought about it and I dnt wanna be friends with you at the moment

he said ill say hi to you if I see you on the street but that's about it.

I said do me a favour and stay away from me please and thanks

he goes there you go rudeness once again

then he says ill do one even better if I see you on the street ill stick my middle finger up at you

then he was like good bye forever

I was like good bye forever

he is like bye bye to the both of you lol (cuz he called me bipolar)

then he called my sister and told her he needs to talk to her about me

he always talks to my sister and it pisses me off. just last night she tells me he was walking by during the day with the dog and he wanted to text her to come out but didn't cuz I was home and he didn't want to see me and he didn't want to deal with me. I just don't get it!!!!



I don't talk to him anymore keeps sending me texts im horrible in bed but yet he asked me to sleep with him again a while ago and then said if we were actually a real couple he would have treated me like gold....makes no sense?
why is he saying such hurtful thing

[healingme4me]

I would tell Sheldon, to take a hike! If he's this mean now, there's no telling how much worse a future with him, could possibly be.

[Confusedinomicon]

There is something psychologically wrong with him. I would cut contact and move on.

[avlady]

Get Away as soon a s possible, someone who loves somebody would not treat them like this!!!

So...
I mean, it appears to me that this guy gave you a very clear warning sign that he did not want you being personally friendly with one of his friends. Whether he told you the reason why or you found out of your own accord- you still knew why and to do so would be hurtful to him and challenge any trust that you two had managed to begin to develop between the two of you.

It sounds like a lot of the bizarre behavior he was displaying was a result of these deep seated fears that A- whoever he dates will cheat on him and B- they will cheat on him with his "friend" Darryl.

If my potential SO told me anything approaching what Sheldon said to you about not adding Daryll on FB, I would not ever go near the guy, answer calls or texts, likely block him on facebook as well if it became apparent that he was trying to get close to me. Because there is clear hurt there and a complexity in the situation that I may never be able to understand; possibly being friendly to someone I don't know does not trump respecting the feelings of someone I care about already.

This doesn't excuse the impulsive and judgemental and kind of ridiculous behavior of sheldon- the accusations and insults, but his behavior doesn't excuse your reaction either.

You wanted to know what you did, and it was probably that you took his irrational fear personally and perhaps reacted in a retaliatory fashion- by creating a clear connection with darryl- whether you were actively doing so or not.

My suggestion would be to cut contact with the whole lot of them and start fresh. It sounds like a really unhealthy social scene, to be honest.

[Lonely_90]

I would say he has something wrong mentally, he lives in the past and cannot get past what has been done to him, and I can tell you from experience, this isn't going to change. You broke his trust by adding Darryl and if you continue the relationship that will be constantly brought up, he will always say GO BE WITH DARRYL.. I say get out before u get too many feelings. Verbal abuse is the first step to physical abuse. He's already "being mean" and you are not officially together. Plus he talks to your sister to get under your skin.

[gayleggg]

Run the opposite way as fast as you can and be sure to block him on Facebook. He is toxic.

[catsrhelm]

I am in agreement with gaylegg. You need to get away from that whole mess. You don't need all that drama. Big hugs!

[Sharp_Lace]

He sounds very unstable. I would stay away from him. He's being to paranoid about you sleeping with his friend even though its obvious it didn't happen.

He's trying to act like he was just using you for sex but obviously he was interested in being around you. He's just not mature enough to break up with you in a healthy way.

Just don't answer his text. He's only trowing insults at you for attention (again with the not grown up enough thing) acting like a child.

Warn your sister he's bad news and trying to start trouble and that talking to him would be a bad idea. Then cut all kind of contact with him, you don't need someone like that in your life.