[shawntay94]

Wow, this last week has been one of the hardest weeks I can remember in my life. My husbans mom passed. A way about three weeks ago and man he has been completely out of control. I'm ready to pack my bags and walk out the door. I love him dearly and he has stuck by my side threw thick and thin in the most trying times of my life. I understand that living with someone who has bipolor is probley very stressful. And behond hard sometimes. He never once packed up and left me that's the only reason I havge not yet left. But something has got to give he's got to chill out cause man he can be a real jerk!! He has called me every name in the book screamed yelled gotten in my face and completely tore me up over the last week so much so that he has me in tears several times a day. I know he is suffering at the loss of his mother and he is miss diricting the anger he has at her not being alive anymore at me but i m tired of walking on egg shells he's gotten to the point now where he is doing it in front of other people and they jump into the middle and say man dude leave her alone she didn't do or say one word and u just started filpping out on her its embarressing. I want to cry run and hide run away and never come the hell back then once people call him out on it strangers in public places eg (krogers) ugh he looks like he wants to cry and he will calm down chill out for a while grab my hand and kiss it and tears will fall from his eyes. I'm a nervous freaking wreck. I don't know how much more of this I can take. He will break down once ina while and tell me how he's all alone in the world now and how he's scared. I feel like I'm nothing to him it really hurts we have been married for 22 years I'm 37 years old we got married when I was 16 and had our first child when I was 15 he's been out of work for almost two years because of a stroke he had and some serious health problems. That caused us to loose our home we paid on for over 20 years so we had to up and move to a foreclosed home in a shabby neigherborhood with 3 young boys trying to keep them in school and out of trouble gangs and drugs. He's got a lot on him but just because I have bippolor he feels like I'm free and void of feelings and worries when I on the other hand belive its just the oppicite I think suffering with bipolor makes my worries and deepest feelings 1000 times more entence than an person who is free of mental illness. I'm not sleeping, havnt eaten in a week, and depression is a everyday battle for me I'm faithful in taking my daily medication because I know how bad the darkness is when I stop, I can't do that to myself. I have to love myself enough to see it threw to tomorrow. Good I nee

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It sound horendous. He needs to see someone, either a psychiatrist or therapist to help him through this grief and fear he is going through. When my mom died I though the whole world died, I really thought I would cease to exist without her. I didn't of course and have mostly come to terms with it now. But you do need to take care of yourself and do what you need to do, to do that.