[suck_it_up]

I got married this year and my husband constantly tells me how he hates me and wants a divorce. He can go for days without talking to me if he can. I cant do a thing in my life right for him or his family. His step mom who they walked on eggshells for can be the rudest person in the world and he will always stick up for her. Meaning after we got engaged she said I did something wrong to the entire family, but I cant get anyone to tell me what exactly it was I did. They constantly slander my name to any person or on public viewed items, as in FB. Still to him she has done nothing wrong. He blames me for it all. He constantly is calling me names, in front of my child. I was asked to move with him away from my home town. Since I did that I moved and had no job. In which I was told it will be ok he will give me money. Now I get condemned for not having a job. There is not one thing I can do right. I will say though the house is clean, child taken care of, clothes put away, and food on the table. He always threatens to not give me money. If I buy anything such as a hair-brush, I get in trouble. In front of others he acts as the comedian and a fun loving type of guy/ dad. Behind closed doors when he does not get what he wants he will throw an adult temper tantrum and run away go and hide in the room, or if its something we have to do as a family and it doesn't go his way we will get punished. I feel as if I live with 2 children instead of the one we have. When he gets mad it is on his terms when will not be arguing any more. I have to wait till he gets in a good mood, and sometimes/ most times its about 3 days. Its even on his terms when we are arguing or not. I'm so lost and stressed. Dislike the feeling that he feels the need to tell me he hates me, every things my fault, I am the problem, if I don't talk to him enough in a night he gets mad, but when I share things with him he will turn it around when we get into an argument and hurt me with it. Any advise

[middie]

please try and get out of the relationship and take your child with you......do you have family who can help you and support you......it sounds like you are having a terrible time and need to get out and have some thinking time and work out what you want and where you want to go. The relationship is abusive .....can you contact any organisations who can help and support you and your children to leave and make a new life for yourself......I am sending you a big hug x

[yunaleska]

Originally Posted by middie

please try and get out of the relationship and take your child with you......do you have family who can help you and support you......it sounds like you are having a terrible time and need to get out and have some thinking time and work out what you want and where you want to go. The relationship is abusive .....can you contact any organisations who can help and support you and your children to leave and make a new life for yourself......I am sending you a big hug x

Omg yes pleaseeeee leave this terrible man! I am going through the same thing expect im trying to get shut not teying to please him! You are so much better than this man and you should not be having to find ways to please hom when was the last time he did something for you! I jope to god you find the strengh to get out of this x

[Trippin2.0]

Excuse my nosiness but why on Earth did you marry this person in the first place?

[gayleggg]

Definitely a toxic relationship. Get out as soon as possible, before his moods, distroy you and warp the way your child sees marriage.

[Jeannie82]

Oh my god! I feel so much for you! Get out now if you can, stash as much money as you can get your hands on, borrow or loan from anyone you know.

My ex husband turn on me in less than a week after I moved to Denmark (he's a Dane). Some difference to your situation is that he was so sweet and loving all before my move. If I had knew what he was like, I would never have got married to him even! He was worst than just the money side of it!

Perhaps during your engagement and even right up till this moment after you were married, you were hoping for him to finally change? A woman to woman, get out, esp because you are married to him. Ironically, it's never easy but at least try.

[Angel of Bedlam]

This is almost identical to the relationship I had with my ex. You're in an abusive relationship, your husband is known as the abusive type called a "water torturer." I really encourage you to look it up.

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[Angel of Bedlam]

The Water Torturer Abuser:•Proves that anger doesn’t cause abuse, this type of abuser can assault his partner without ever even raising his voice.•He tends to stay cool and collected during arguments as a weapon to push his partner over the edge.•Uses tools like sarcasm, mockery, even resorting to laughing at her or what she says or making cruel, cutting remarks•Relentless in his quiet derision and meannessWhen dating a “Water Torturer,” you tend to do one of two things: either you become frustrated to the point of furiousness, or you begin to feel completely stupid and inferior. You might end up doing things like screaming and yelling because you become so frustrated, storming out of the room, or sinking into silence, leading your partner to make it seem like you are the abusive or crazy one. He might say things to you like“You’re the one screaming and yelling, I’m just talking calmly: you’re the one that is abusive to me. You are impossible to talk to. I didn’t even raise my voice, and look at you!”This type of abuse can be incredibly damaging and can do serious harm to your personal mentality. You feel like you are going crazy or that you are enraged but have no idea really why. You have a hard time reaching out to other people because you don’t even know how to explain what is going on. He seems to know exactly how to get under your skin, and he can even make other people take his side in believing that you are the crazy one and that he just somehow puts up with you.•Leads other people to believe that they are nice and even-tempered, and you are the one that is crazy, unpredictable and has a bad temper.•Can be incredibly cruel, all the while maintaining a calm mentality. He plays up the idea that as long as he is calm, nothing he does or says can be seen as abusive.•Knows exactly how to get under your skin.•Leads you to believe that you fly off the handle or overreact to things that aren’t really that bad.It can take years to figure out what is happening, if you are a victim of this type of abuse, and if you finally leave him, you may experience intense periods of delayed rage as you realize just how abusive and destructive he was.

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