[emptyandhostile-]

you would think that after you have been with someone for awhile and they have done so many things for you, and express their love for you on a daily basics you would feel reassured that he/she loves you right? nope... not for me anyways. I feel a constant emptiness, although I have never been diagnosed with BDP. I have nearly every symptom. Sometimes I feel like I can never have enough love. I feel paranoid, worried, and terrified that they will leave me for someone better, or get sick of me and abandon me. I have gone to crazy lengths to get my my partner to stay. Although I have an intense fear of them leaving me, I do/say a lot of things to push them away further. Sometimes I feel like I'm going into a jealous rage when other parties are involved. I forbid them from talking to certain people, I have gotten mad at them for looking at the opposite sex, and while I realize these patterns of behavior are considered abusive, and they are not healthy. I still keep doing them.

My partner is antisocial he is socially awkward and has a hard time talking about how he really feels at the time being. he bottles thing in, and then snaps out when he's too drunk, and angry. He likes to spend time alone, while I hate being alone, and doing things by myself, and can't stand to be alone with my thoughts for long periods of time. He doesn't pick up well on social cues, he's anxious, and very monotone. Because of my history of angry hot headed bitter men a lot of these personality traits can be perceived the wrong way, trigger certain emotions, and send me over the edge. I over analyze everything, and I question my partners motives which drives him absolutely crazy. Even though I know he loves me, and has never done anything for me to not trust him, I still get threatened by the opposite sex.

I'm trying to understand and accept his personality and his way of dealing with conflict, and he is also trying to do the same. It's a slow process, but as long as we aren't screaming, and kicking the whole way there we will get there.

[Angel of Bedlam]

I told my boyfriend earlier this week that, "Other women are threats. Threats should be eliminated." I TOTALLY get how you feel about other women lol! I am in the same boat as you though, my boyfriend loves me, we are happy, but I somehow seem to always feel like I'm are seconds away from losing him. The only thing I cam recommend is your boyfriend be patient, and you learn ways to deal with those overwhelming feelings. Try writing about them, finding a way to soothe yourself when you're feeling like you're going to explode, or just try laughing at yourself. Sometimes just laughing off your crazy thoughts can be helpful. Also, when you're needing reassured, be honest, trying to hold all that inside is a heavy load and you'll exolode.

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[Travelinglady]

I am glad you are aware of your issues and his issues. That should help in keeping the relationship going. Communication is the key.