Ok so into the rabbit hole we go...
My girlfriend and i have been together 5 yrs dec. 6th. We have hit our rough patches much like any relationship and have come out of most of them with a better understanding of each other... so i thought!!! This year 2013 My girlfriend started a new job after being unemployed for a while. While working there she met an old friend (female) that she used to be close with. This was in sept. around my B-Day she started going to her house to hang out with her... no problem right, except it was the week of my birthday and the weekend previous i wanted to do something, but she said "no i dont feel good call a friend" so i did. and after he came to hang out she decided to leave. anger started setting in. now this continued for weeks to come, not only angering me more but raising my suspicion. i couldn't get straight answers from her she would be gone till 3-4 in the morning. and when i would confront her with my issues it would turn into a fight...!!! So low and behold one day, she comes home upset because the friend she was hanging out with kicked her out because she thought my girlfriend was messing around with her husband. So as days fallow my curiosity starts setting in and i decide to contact the female friend Via Facebook and as we get to talking i start finding out about some behaviors that you hear from teenage girls like flashing.... so obviously i was angry and asked her if there was anything that she needed to tell me and what i heard next broke my heart while standing in my living room. out of her mouth she says i had sex with a married guy... (mind you it was not her friends husband but a friend of his). i did not cuss her out or name call... i really love this woman so with the little strength i had holding me back i still held my respect. Now since then this friend of hers has told me some other things but i dont know if she is just angry at her and trying to retaliate, because i have heard from a few sources she has a tendency to fabricate stories... But one thing is for certain my girlfriend admitted to cheating. We have had conversations about it and i am sure she not telling the whole story, but then who really would. plus i dont know if i want details...!!! But before anyone jumps the gun and thinks this is her typical behavior Trust me it is not. i am 31, she is 33 she has 2 kids 7 and 13 (not mine but i love them as if they were). she is the socially quiet type, doesn't drink a lot (like once every 2 months and its usually wine) no drugs, and very responsible... very reserved. the night of the incident we had a fight (because i didnt want her out all night there plus she txt me that she was drinking) so things were said and what happened happened.... now supposedly she wanted to tell me that night when she came home (glad she didnt i was drinking by the time she got home) but 3 weeks passed and during that time she was thinking of ways to tell me hoping i dont leave..... Now as for what i do know, and what other things i was told that may or may not be true... i have decided to forgive her. we dont talk about it to much anymore its been about 1 1/2 months since i found out. like i said i dont think i want all the details and she has admitted cheating the one time but denies all the other accusations... now she has broken into tears when we talk about it explaining that she feels disgusted with herself, thinking about it makes her feel dirty, she doesn't deserve me and i didn't deserve this, and she wishes that she could take it all back. whats crazy is.... i believer her. so i have forgivin her but also because i am not without flaw either for a while in the beginning of our relationship i was receiving and sending photos of women through e-mail. which she hated but forgave me for. I HAVE LONG TIME SINCE NOT DONE THAT.... even though i did not cross the physical line i felt that caused grounds for considering a second chance plus the love i feel for her... i want to so bad believe it will never happen again but there are no promises... but she has taken guys off her phone that may or may not respect our relationship, and i have done the same with women in my phone (p.s. she is the only girl i have not cheated on i am still faithful to her). and we have a family shared cell service and she has been honest with me about numbers and etc.... and we both have agreed to not bottle things up and try our best to communicate with all and any problems we have... BUT I CANT GET THE ***** OUT OF MY HEAD i don't think about it like i did at first but at least once a day i do and my stomach sinks...!!! and at those times i feel like i let her off to easily, i feel like a fool, etc.... will this pass, am i making the right decision, can what we used to have be revived.... sex is great, we both have big hearts for each other, we both love having each other around, we both love to see each other happy, her kids looooove me..!!! her oldest cried herself to sleep when she thought i was leaving.... yes she heard the whole conversation that night my heart was ripped out... any advice people would be great..... i love her soooo much and i know she loves me she knows my trust is gone and she has to regain it and is willing to do this for better or worse.... i just don't know if i can forget i hate thinking about it it pisses me off every time and when i do i cant even look at her...

[gayleggg]

Yes, it is possible to get past it. I cheated on my husband years ago and he forgave me. He did have bouts of anger about it at first when he would think about but we have been married now 16 years and I would say he has forgiven and has full trust in me again. So there is hope, where there is love.

[Hoyam]

sorry you have to go through this am sure it broke your heart. cheating is the worst thing that could happen in a relation. She seems like a good lady but what she did has no excuse and she knew it was wrong and she continued doing it (am sorry to say that but she didn't cheat once it wasn't a one night stand) what if you haven't found out? how long will she continue to see him?
for me cheating is unforgivable at least on the short term and continuing with your current relation will only deepen your scar, have you considered taking some time apart from each other? think things through and give yourself time to heal?